I've been sober for nearly 8 months and the novelty is wearing off and I'm feeling weak. Yesterday I was thinking long and hard about drinking again but I downloaded this app instead. Hoping to find a community of support. I've found the hardest thing is making human connection and making friends as I've never done it without the helping hand of alcohol. I feel extremely isolated and lonely the longer I stay sober and wondering how people make connections in their new lifestyle.
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Welcome! I like making friends at the gym, and at church.
Glad you’re here! I’m only 29 days sober so 8 months is amazing. I hear that the longer you are sober it’s easier to say Maybe I can just have one. If it was me, 1 would lead to “just 1 more” and so on. Most people I know drink so it’s really hard but I do have a few sober friends that just happen not to drink. Do you have a hobby? That’s one way to meet people you can relate to. Just a suggestion but I’m like you. I liked to drink and socialize. The sucky part of that is sometimes I can’t remember their names and wonder how stupid I acted afterwards. Idk if this helps at all. Just be proud of your sobriety and I hope you meet some good sober friends. This is a great place to start!
Volunteer at something you enjoy and you will meet people and spend time being sober doing something you like!! Thanks for your honesty about the novelty wearing off! Time for a change in routine...and reminisce about the BAD times drinking/using and how feeling good feels good!
Glad you’re here! Time certainly changes our perspective as we go along. At least for me I had to get over a hump to get back to regular relationships, especially with people that I spent time with while drinking. I did eventually make it around the bend, but everyone is different. All I can say is it’s something that I found with time and only time could give it to me. I can’t tell you what to do, but I can tell you that I am glad you chose to reach out to this community instead of go back to the bottle. I suggest you continue that route.
Man, being sober without a group like AA would be painful. If you’re not involved in a 12 step group, get involved. It’ll be a chore at first, but eventually that’s just where your friends are.
Ignore all these other comments about the gym and church and volunteering. A group of sober alcoholics will save your life.
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Thanks everyone for your comments so far. I quit last year and made it to the 6 month mark and then started dating which made me start drinking again. The hardest part so far is realizing I've never started a romantic relationship without alcohol being along for the ride, and I don't actually know how to connect to someone authentically after so many years of hazy connections.
Also, I'm a bartender 🥲 I've switched to serving the floor instead of being behind the bar as they know it was making my sobriety that much more challenging, but all of my co-workers drink too and that's how they socialize.
I'm nervous to go to AA, I think just because of the newness of it and not knowing what to expect. But I have tried the gym, getting a social hobby (bouldering), trying to meet people organically etc, but I just feel like they don't know the struggle that's underneath. Perhaps AA is the place to go, because anyone there already can understand the demons we are carryig
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Hey there Emily! Well good luck sticking it out, I know it might be tough right now, but when you put out the list of pros and cons, they really aren’t that many pros beyond the very temporary feel good. It might be time for you to switch occupations! I’ve been sober for about 12 years and operate within a community that still uses everything pretty heavily, but I’m starting to move away from that and do things like yoga and sound baths and other things that aren’t revolving around alcohol.  I never did AA, but it just didn’t vibe with me, I hear it’s pretty great for a lot of people. I think one of the good things about it is you can get a sponsor, but I would be happy to chat with you if you just need a sober friend to talk through some things about. As far as dating goes, and even just operating the world, I’m so much happier without alcohol, and I’m an inspiration to people my community now that I can go out and have fun without drinking, I’m kind of a fun silly guy so it fits so much better with me… at any rate… I’m trying to find my way through this app, find out if it’s worth it or not, but I’m glad it inspired you to get some support! Hang in there!
I have 15 months alcohol free and I know exactly what you mean. The novelty does wear out at times but then you get over the hump and it feels easier again. Keep going. You will never regret NOT drinking:)
good morning! You have come a long way you can keep going. I know it’s hard for me. It’s been a matter of using different tools that I’ve learned from going to AA and to celebrate recovery meetings as well as talking to other people from these groups and my counselors and the classes that I’m taking my list goes on I had a DUI and enrolled in a DUI class and a parenting class, all these things combined have helped me. I’m approaching nine months actually on Saturday and this week has been rough for me. I can honestly say that being able to talk about how I’m feeling with other like-minded people truly help me and this has been a great resource. I don’t know what town you’re in or where you’re at but I would highly recommend just walking into a meeting and listening. You don’t have to disclose anything if you choose not to try it you may or may not like it but always go back and try it again because different meetings different people different times you never know I also started off, finding something else to drink to replace the sensation of having a drink. I started off with Shirley Temple’s, all the time till that wore off and I decided I didn’t want as much sugar so then I started trying flavored waters and adding little touches to them like a little special, like pineapple juice, or a little bit of mint and fresh berries and most recently I’m into trying different types of bottled waters and really taking the time to see if I taste the difference and what I like best!
Remember, you have come a long way and all it takes is one drink to pull you back in to that spiral..
Hey! I know truly how deeply hard that is... You can do it keep fighting! I'm JUST over four years and I have such issues with trust from the damage I caused and stuff done to me... It's incredibly hard to start over but it takes an incredible amount of strength! I would love to talk if you ever want to! Just know you are not alone!!!! Know you are SUCH an amazing and wonderful person! You will get more time in and you are going to make friends! What are some things that make you happy that you can do being sober?
Welcome. I got 12 days clean today. I think this app is great
No. It gets better. That 1st drink yu'll feel worst after it's said n done.
Welcome it happens I’m 9 1/2 years and still have occasional thought