I've cleared the first day of sobriety but all I can think about is my actions on Tuesday night. I feel so embarrassed. I've been through so much in my life and I kept trying to forget with alcohol. Now all the feelings are just rushing at me at once. I don't have a urge to drink but I feel complete sadness. I wanna let it out and just cry until my eyes get swollen but I have children, I have to be a mom and a sad mom equals sad children. It's not fair to them that I'm like this. I guess my question is how do one start the process of healing from several instances when talking to the persons that did the harm is not an option? I think that's where I need to start. Healing, one trauma at a time.
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Welcome Shann! Only you can determine how best to heal from your traumas. Mine was/is through therapy. It doesn't change over night and it's a process but I can't recommend that enough. Sometimes finding the right therapist takes time, but you've shown strength in admitting that things need to change. If you are a person of faith, maybe try the church for guidance and counseling. Whatever is right for you, but you can do this! Feel proud of your day one, you've taken the right step for you.
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Meetings for start. Keep talking. Zoom or in person. Need to realize the past is past. Can’t change it. Only live in the day and look forward to tomorrow, soberly. If you don’t use everything will eventually work it’s way out. Good luck
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Thanks Arie. I have thought about therapy, and started researching some too, but unfortunately there are a couple of factors in my way that I'm trying to get pass.
I totally understand. Meetings are a great option as well. I'm this day and age technology allows us to do them anytime and anywhere. Weigh what's right for you and try it ... You never know until you do. Good luck!
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The last time I got drunk, was one week ago. For 4 days I couldn’t stop crying. I had such shame. So many negative thoughts. I felt the lowest I have ever felt. I was honestly thinking life is not worth living . I thought maybe I would just “cut back” . So I drank just one drink a night for 2 days. I was still so sad. 4 days ago I said I’m getting sober. My Dr told me that when we get drunk, we do not get REM sleep. Our neurotransmitters that help our brain balance (stabilize our mood) totally get out of whack. Without that sober , REM sleep, we don’t stand a chance fighting anxiety and/or depression . It’s not easy . I know . But it will get better. 
trust that your body is healing . Tell yourself “I am healing.” Do not drink . Keep coming here for support. You got this.
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Thanks Leslie. I just woke up feeling the worst, the guilt is a lot but I'm trying hard to not think about it.
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My therapist used to tell me “thoughts are just thoughts. They are not feelings.” And she used to say “let the thought pass.” This really didn’t resonate with me until just this week. The first few days seems like a constant flood of thoughts for me . Most of them bad. Just let them pass. I know that sounds silly , but I swear it helps . Just observe each one , let it pass. This is where the surrender comes in . We are re-wiring our brains! We can do this.
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Hi Shann, when I first got sober I also have to face my past traumas, things I had ignored and pushed away for years. Some things that helped were incorporating meditation and mindfulness into my life, writing about it in a journal, and reading. I’m not sure what kind of trauma you have, but The Body Keeps the Score really gave me perspective and equipped me with further ideas on treating the trauma. I have also worked with therapists on a off for several years now. I have a really good one now, but I had to prioritize her appointments financially over doing other things. A more affordable option is BetterHelp, it’s an online therapy organization and they are really affordable, I think it works out to about $40 an appt. I had one therapist on there a few years back that I really liked. Additionally, talking with other sober people can help you gain perspective as well. You are welcome to message me anytime!
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I can't begin to express the gratitude I feel towards you all. You all are like my little support group. I'm half way through the day and I do feel a little better. I feel like you all have loaned a tiny piece of your power which gives me the strength to fight through today.
I'll definitely look into BetterHelp. Thank you.
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Get sober first. For your self.
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