Ive had an unhealthy relationship with alcohol ever since I was 15 (28 now) and 2 days ago was my last straw. I binge drank and ended up cussing out one of my longest friends. Yelled at her and lost my cool. Blacked out and puked for 12 hours the next day… 6 of which I was puking up blood. I don’t have health insurance in the state I’m in right now and I was very scared. I can’t do this anymore, I hurt so many people that night. I apologized to 6 of my friends… I’m so embarrassed and I need to change. I’m nervous for a life that doesn’t include social drinking. I’ve made alcohol part of my persona as a “fun/wild” friend. I can’t binge drink anymore, I can’t have alcohol in my life and continue to get into situations like this.
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It’s doesn’t sound like social drinking to me. Detoxing from alcohol especially since you were puking up blood is dangerous to say the least. Insurance or not, you need to go to the hospital. There are government programs and grants. Dial 211, or walk into an ER. I didn’t feel the full effects of detox until about day 3 and it was terrible!
Don’t worry about the apologies or what happened the other night, fixing that comes later. Right now you need to get well. I wish you luck.
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Is it considered detox if I binge drink around 1-2 times a month. Aside from episodes like that I rarely drink. I get out of control at parties and if we go out to the bars… I’m new to the terminology so let me know what you think.
Luckily I was able to have contact with a doctor and nurse during the episode. I may call the doc again. Thank you for your support
I would reach out to a Healthcare provider and get guidance. Coming of excessive use of alcohol, regardless of your drinking pattern, can be dangerous.
Then consider getting some help for your alcohol problem. AA is one option but there are others. Whichever path you choose, just remember that no one get sober alone. Give yourself permission to ask for help.
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I drank for 12 years straight. Towards the end I was cracking open a bottle vodka and mixing with white claw at 7:30 in the morning just to stave off the shakes. It got to the point where I would puke every morning guaranteed after the first few sips.
Weeks of that went by and eventually it got to the point where I couldn’t make it through the night without puking into a bowl. I was puking green bile and blood for days on end, unable to eat or get water down, when I finally decided to go to the ER.
I had turned yellow, my eyes were yellow, and my liver was failing. They thought I had varices, which is fatal. I was on IVs for four days. I couldn’t eat for that time. I almost died.
Point is, if you’re puking up blood, even after just “a few weekends” a month, you should take that seriously. I used to use the “health insurance” excuse quite a bit. But, a bottle of vodka is also $32.95 and is over half water. Math doesn’t work here, go to the hospital.
It could save your life, it saved mine.
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The book The Naked Mind helped me so much. I downloaded it on my phone and listened when I was out running my dogs!! I resonated with it so much and it took my desire to drink away
It isn’t the amount, duration, type or how often you drink that makes you alcoholic. It is what you do and how you react to it when you do drink. If you can not just have a drink with friends, and stop… every time… you have a problem. The inability to say nah I’m good, and truly not want to or need to drink another. I started the same way, and it spiraled for 12 years until I put my kids and myself in a very dangerous situation. I honestly didn’t think I had a problem until that day. I would still see a doctor. And let them check you out.
Your story is powerful and made me think. Thank you for sharing it. I’m just now coming to terms with the fact that I have a problem. It’s a hard realization… I’ll schedule a doc appt to check my liver and kidney function
Ok that gave me a different perspective. I always thought it was okay ish because i didn’t drink on a consistent basis ever. I do need to see a doctor. I’ll schedule a visit in my home state tomorrow
Thank you cristi, I’ll look it up for sure
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I need to Find an online program like AA… where I live Is very small and i don’t have anonymity. Thank you, I will ask for help
I hope you are doing OK. I had someone almost die in my house when we were drinking. He was vomiting blood, coffee ground looking at times and chunks of blood. He refused to go to the hospital. He eventually passed out and I called 911. He went into emergency surgery. He had a hole in him somewhere. I’m taking him to his follow up endoscopy tomorrow. Please be careful!
That is absolutely terrifying. I am doing okay, thank you. I’m hydrated again and I went to work today and felt fine. I can’t do this anymore, ready for a change
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Lifering is online.
I’ve never heard of it, I will look into it right now
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Blackouts are a sign of a much deeper problem. I would bet my rent that you’re not a “social drinker.” Afraid of a “life without booze”? I haven’t touched drugs nor booze in nearly 5 years, and I ain’t miserable at all! I have great friends, live in New York City and love my job—all cause I’m clean and sober. It can be done!
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You’re right. And I black out quickly these days, I’m damaging my body. Thank you for your encouragement. Im ready for this change
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Yeah, I surround myself with social drinkers and I just can’t hang… clearly.
Yes, the guilt is terrible and embarrassing. I don’t want this anymore
Hello again. You needn't be embarrassed. You're coming to a crossroads and have figured out what the problem actually is. Maybe you have found your "tribe"?
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I’m 27 and got sober at 26… best decision I’ve ever made. Getting involved in AA gives you a life worth living. I know it’s scary, but you can have fun without alcohol. You got this 
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