So busy with life it didn't even occur to me that it was my 8-year anniversary. My original sobriety date was December 11th of 2002 of which I went on to stay sober for nearly 9 years. But then I relapsed in 2011 and it cost me about 3 years of drinking insanity. When I was finally able to muster up enough willingness to start going to meetings again, I slowly began to realize that the reason I drank in the first place was because I had believed the big lie; that this time everything would be okay. But it sure wasn't!
I remember when I relapsed, I started out by taking some hydrocodone pills that I kept only in case I threw my back out. One day I began to look at those pills for the wrong reason and instead of picking up the phone and calling someone, I decided to take the pills thus throwing myself back into the Insidious cycle of insanity.
Eventually the wine started looking good and then it was back to the vodka. At first I felt like I had arrived and it felt really great to be drinking again. But after doing it day after day after day, your body starts to get very tired and I just wanted to get through one day without picking up a drink but I just couldn't do it. Then I started to ask myself how the heck did I get myself into this big mess??? I had almost 9 years and I blew it.
When I was out there in my disease during that time I was doing piggyback style truck transport where I delivered semi trucks to dealerships. One night in a hotel, I woke up and my heart was beating out of control and I was trying to play down what was happening. But from past experience, all the drinking I was doing and my blood pressure being out of control I knew what was happening. There was no denying it.
I confirmed this by having several drinks in the middle of the night and I started to settle down. Of course that would mean I wouldn't be able to do any driving that day. It was a big mess let me tell you. I'm a real alcoholic and I will do what I have to every time to get my next drink even if it means breaking into somewhere after hours and running off with whatever it is that I need and that is exactly what I found myself doing a couple of times just like the old days prior to my original sobriety date. That was over 9 years ago, just before I checked back into the program.
I went to meetings every day for at least a couple of years and sometimes I went to two or three meetings a day. I got myself a sponsor and I had myself a long list of phone numbers which I used all the time. My sponsor took me through the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous all over again.
After I had about 6 months of sobriety I signed myself up for volunteer work at the AA club that I frequented. I also started giving rides to people that needed to get to meetings. After I got my first year of sobriety I was asked to tell my story several times. I even managed to sponsor a few people along the way. I never want to ever forget that experience. No matter how long you have been sober, this can happen to you if you stop making your sobriety a priority and stop taking action.
When the pandemic was upon us I started doing some online meetings. I haven't been to a lot of physical meetings here lately but I do stay in contact with AA people every week and I still talk to my sponsor every week. I go to meetings from time to time but just not as much as I used to. I'm a car hauler these days and I take off on Sundays and I don't get back until Thursdays and so it's very difficult to get to meetings in a semi truck when you're out of town.
I have a wife which I met online the day after my 1 year of sobriety. We were video chatting for two and a half years before I finally went to the Philippines to meet her and her two kids. They immigrated to the US from the Philippines over 3 years ago. They are both now in college and one has actually graduated. I have a full-time job and a nice house that I have provided for my family. I never got a chance to teach any of my kids how to drive a motor vehicle because I was missing in action due to my disease but I got to teach my wife and her two kids how to drive since they arrived here in the US. All three of them now have their own vehicles.
There is no way I could have made all this happen if I was still out there!
I'm here to tell you that today, I have nothing to cry about thanks to the program of Alcoholics Anonymous and my higher power which I call God/Jesus.
If you're having trouble getting or staying sober you're going to have to ask yourself what you have been doing in order to make this happen. If what you're doing simply isn't working you're going to have to make some kind of a change. I tell people all the time that the change required is action taken outside of this app and outside of our phones.
The bad thing about phone texting is that it has taken human interaction right out of the picture. App socializing just isn't as powerful as being around people. I know it's become very popular for people to question the program of AA but I can testify that AA is a program that works if you get off of the couch and do what is suggested One Day At a Time.
I love what it says in the Big Book of AA.
Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path!