I think one thing that's hard for me is that I've come here for support. And most everybody has been very supportive and kind. But then there are some people who are just very mean spirited and angry. And maybe I need to hear that. but it's very painful. And when I'm already feeling horrible about myself and my relationships I don't need to be degraded and humiliated when I get that from my family. Can y'all relate to that?
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Hey Kelli! First, congrats on your sobriety!! Staying sober is truly a wonderful thing! Iâm glad you acknowledge that âmostâ people are supportive and kind. I agree with you on that. As for the âothersâ, is this happening in reply to your posts, or posts of others, or in private messages? Nobody on here should be degrading or humiliating you. If they are, please let admin know about it. Please donât let a few bad apples keep you from the benefits that come from this app
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Everyone thats negative swears that they're right.
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I agree with Lee⌠but will add sometimes the things we donât want to hear are the things we need. Perception is a big part of it. Is it tough to hear info or advice your brain doesnât want to hear or is it straight up abuse? If someone is directly humiliating you, degrading you or treating you less then.. thatâs not cool!
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When I consider the source, some people may need TLC which you respond to well enough for one day. And some others might need KIB (Kick in the Behind) You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. Thatâs fine and you deserve to choose what works for you and your situation. Let others have the right to be wrong. Lol itâs a dirty trick to do, but I pray for them without permissionđ
Sometimes when we hear things that we don't like, we get triggered and we write a person off as "negative". We want the "truth" but not TOO MUCH. We want support, but we want a kinder, gentler support. We want warm fuzzy feelings about the things we choose to put in neat little packages and believe. But real life isn't like that. MotherfĂźckers are dying out here. People are sick. We need to stop bĂźllshitting ourselves and eachother, and really take care of eachother. I'm not down with "well wishing" someone when they need help. If someone comes to you and tells you they are starving, do you tell them "I'll pray for you" or "good luck"? No, you feed them. Sure those other things are nice gestures, but when it comes down to it, you really didn't do shĂŻt for the hungry person.
The people around me glossed over my drinking/drugging all my life ("he's had a rough life" etc etc) and while I am not blaming the people that care about me, it sure didn't help that nobody ever told me straight up what I was doing to myself and everyone around me. I already knew the damage I was doing, but it would have really helped to hear it from the people I was hurting with no bĂźllshit.
My delivery sucks sometimes, but I want all of you to live and be happy and stop hurting people around you. Gratitude to me is paying it forward. When you really like and appreciate a song, you want other people to hear it.
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Some of our members were saved by "tough love" and it is all they know. There is a certain amount of tempering that has to happen with tough love. It is a balance. For most tough love can only come from a trusted person.
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Thanks y'all. Of course, I definitely need to hear if I'm making excuses. And maybe I was. I was in a lot of pain with no support so I drank. But I was ashamed of that and realize it's a problem.