Just over 4 months and starting to examine or engage with my self talk. Self depreciation is my natural tone. Voices of shame. Realizing my “good” character of being “reliable” is a mask for crippling fear of letting anyone down or having them think badly of me for not measuring up to their ask. So much literature and messages on “need to love yourself”….diving in because I have no idea how or what that even means……
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Gretchen, this sounds so fun, but also so intense. Getting know ourselves through sobriety can be a rough but rewarding process. Keep pushing through, I promise it’s worth it!
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Gretchen it will all come with time. It sucks that we now have to feel those feelings and emotions that we numbed for so long. I say this so much We Can Do This. So just remember your never alone. I hope you have a support group. Don’t beet yourself up. Time heals all. Things get better and better every day. You will learn how to live yourself if it hasn’t already happened. Something has to fill the void of drinking or using. Do things that make you happy whatever it might be. Good luck my new friend
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Omgosh!!! This hits home !! Thanks for sharing!!
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I noticed when other people complain about something it sets anxiety in me…like I am failing, supposed to fix it, and I feel my stress rise….I don’t know where this comes from? And I own my own medical practice so I am faced with it all day long…..o used to come home to wine to deal with this reality I see now….but I also see nobody is out there worrying about my problems or feelings?? This has been a revelation….which is a good place to start…
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Wonderful post Gretchen!
Thank you! And the best part, you no longer have to “come home to wine to deal with…” anything!! Keep on keeping on!!!
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Thank you for the post Gretchen. I can absolutely relate to this. I suffer from people pleasing. It comes from fear. It comes from negative thinking and insecurities. I’m also doing a lot of work in this area. Therapy, podcasts, readings, meetings, sharing with my support, and prayer and meditation are all tools that are helping me. You are on the right path! Putting a cork in the bottle is just the beginning my friend. Reach out for support if you need it
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I almost forgot…all of this leads to resentments, which is a danger to our well being and sobriety
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I'm in the same place. I believe C.G. Jung said we are the sum of our fears.
Human natu
te
As humans we need love and acceptance it makes is feel secure. I'm learning to love and accept myself with every sober breath.
I found that if I can keep my mouth shut and listen to people and exercise benevolence it helps me to accept myself.