I have been sober since April 1, 2025. I'm doing great. The beginning was rough for me. My son, at the age of 41 passed away. He was sent to KS rehab for alcohol. He was so very sick. He had his stomach pumped and the color was lime green. 5 liters the first time. 7 liters the second and the 3rd time I don't recall how many liters they pumped out. But this 3rd time they put him into a forced coma for 10 days. I almost lost him that time. His gut was huge. When he left for rehab in KC, I received only 2 text from him in two years. I started the mourning process. I thought I would never see him again. That's exactly what happened. He was drinking the flavored airplane size flavored vodka. He would drink 2 sleeves. Now me. I never drank til the age of 38. It is my 3rd DWI and I was looking at a possible felony charge. Required to wear ankle alcohol monitor. I made it thru with 3 months of total bed rest. I was a mess. I had been taking depression meds for a couple years. I stopped taking them mid June. One month after stopping those meds, I finally cut lose with the longest cry. I had to start feeling again. I was shocked that I couldn't cry. His father and the mother of his son passed away 2 years prior to his death. It was Fetynal for her. A ruptured hernia took him. My son had a child who is now 18 and her mother passed away from a heroin overdose. My grandson moved to NJ with his mother's family. So I'm dealing with that as well. Today is a good day. It's Thanksgiving. I'm going to be alright. I will never drink again. It now gets easier to talk about it. He was so bad I cleaned up puke from his bed to the bathroom toilet many times. Towards the end before he was held for those 10 days, I totally had enough. In the 18 months we all lived together. I gave up. Left my job. Evicted from the mobile home I bought. That man was not my son. He was absolutely over come with the alcohol. I can't ever get to that point. He could go all in and drink both sleeves. Where I was done after 3 or 4 hours of drinking. I was homeless for over a year, I ended up going to my sisters. She was at the end her life with Parkinsons. She passed last December. I'm not religious. I'm an atheist. Raised very Catholic. I ended up moving into a retirement home. My SS is better than most. My credit score with all my hard work landed me with a 765 credit score. I lost it all because I was unable to get it together. 3 times to the psych ward. I never in my entire life ever experienced anything like this. My 10 years of bad karma has come to an end. So here I am with my confused and overlooked soul. I have two daughters. One in SC with her husband and 3 kids. They are very successful. I'm so proud. My oldest, she gets me. I still owe $2300 to my attorney and my ankle device is $390 a month. My daughter in SC cannot help me financially because they are building a new home. Move in date is Feb 1, 2026. She can't show to much spending activity during this time. I am beside myself asking for help. I never in my wildest dreams would have to ask my daughter for financial help. This has been so devastating for myself and my family. My daughter footed the bill on the cremation and I'm talking everything for her brother. She is my biggest blessing. My other daughter,36 was diagnosed with pschizphinia. She is very intelligent went to community college and earned a full ride to St. Louis University. She also worked full time. She just totally aced. Then one day her boyfriend stopped by my work and told me she was in the psych ward at the hospital near my home. State of MO made her ward of the court. We knew very little of her condition. After the first two years, she had a disagreement with her father at the dinner table. She was heavily medicated. She went out back to have a cigarette. She picked up the lighter fluid and she poured it on her huge arm tattoo of a rose and a train in honor of her dad. She was so upset that she after she poured the lighter fluid, she then held her arm over the grill and poof. She was on fire. He drove her to a downtown STL hospital. The next day I got a call at work letting me know what I had happened. My little girl tried to remove that tattoo because she was so upset about what happened at the dinner table. He only verbally abused her. Like saying "Hello Victoria is there anyone in there? Class act. He's a horrible, insensitive human being I have ever met. They heavily medicated her for her visit away from the facility. She was not invited back. Her guardian worked hard on finding placement for her. She ended up in Hannibal, MO. She has worked diligent on her recovery. COVID set her back on the program. Ran away when she was told the program was scratched. She made it 10 blocks. She never told me or her sister about this until one year later. She was confident she was able to tell us. In February of this year her guardian moved her to a facility south of St Louis City. Just recently, her guardian and the facility gave her tests and she passed with flying colors. She has her own front door with a key on the facility property. She has a job with Breadco. I'm so happy for her. It's been 12 years now and she made it on her own. So here I am spewing my crazy life to someone who had the time to listen. My girls and I survived so far. I'm 67 years old. I rock my gray hair and it's the first time in my adult life, living on my own. I told my oldest granddaughter when I'm done with my crazy stuff, I can help her out. She will be graduating next spring. Us girls have survived so much. I'm looking at remote work from home. Wish me luck. Thanks for the ear.
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One more thing I need to add. The hotel found my son in bed at a weekly pay hotel. He was alcohol free, but he was huffing from a spray can. Accidental death was the cause. His body was beat up from his history of excessive alcohol use. His liver and heart stopped functioning. His life, tragic and sad was lost forever. He was so perfect as a kid growing up. I miss him today. He always brought the kids to me every holiday. Thanks
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