Lapse- when a person uses once after not using for a bit. Then stops after that without exhibiting any other using behavior with the primary chemical or act that may be a hinderance in their lives.
Relapse- when a person uses but keeps on using after first initial usage after a period of non use.
When you get to my stage of this disease, there are no more lapses. In fact, if I get to the point where I allow myself to be even close to a “lapse”, I’m in severe danger. While I get what you’re saying, it doesn’t work that way for many of us. The idea that maybe I can “lapse” every so often and just pick up my sobriety the next day is complete insanity. I’m all for putting a positive spin on somebody who recently relapsed. I’m all for supporting newcomers who are struggling. However, sugar coating a “lapse” can have incredibly disastrous consequences for addicts and their loved ones. Wishing everyone a blessed and beautiful sober day 
I totally agree with you on all levels. 
I just was attempting to differentiate between the two,.to take away the same and self loathing that comes with both, and neither should come into play, but have it be a lesson hopefully learned and to move forward.. best of luck to you sir and safe travels.
Thank you for not sugar coating.