Today, I told my husband of 20 years that I wanted a divorce. My sobriety has made me see things I've been ignoring for years. I'm no longer that young naive girl who believed that love would conquer all. I'm so thankful for my sobriety, and I don't want to jeopardize that for anything. He continues to drink and even asks me to pick it up for him. In the early months, I'd beg him not to drink or make me pick it up for him, but he didn't seem to worry about my feelings, only his. I don't ever want to have a bad day, and know it's readily available for me to use. I hope I've made the right decision, because it's one of the hardest I've had to make.
19 Likes
Wow, such a courageous decision. Congratulations on choosing your sobriety first over anything else.
I was told make a change of people, places and play things. Putting myself in precarious situations increases my chances of picking up a drink. If I go to a barbershop enough times I will eventually get a haircut. I was told that I'm defenseless against that first drink and the phenomenon of craving may appear if my intentions aren't sound and I'm not properly armed.
When looking back at the changes I made, especially at the beginning or the journey, I know everything worked out as it should.
4 Likes
Many people I know in the rooms, including me, will do whatever it takes to protect their sobriety.  Taking care of yourself is one of the blessings of sobriety. -
3 Likes
I had to walk away from my 15 year marriage and many of our mutual friends for very similar reasons. I had to put myself and my sobriety and my life before others, for once, no matter who they were. If they weren't supportive and helping to lift me up out of the darkness, they were gone. It's not an easy thing to do and it was lonely at times but the blessings and people my Higher Power have placed in my life are far beyond anything I could have imagined!! Do what's right for you, protect your program/sobriety, hang in there, it does get better, way better!!!
4 Likes
Tough decisions must be made in our sobriety. Be proud of yourself Carrie even tho I know it wasn’t an easy decision by any means 
3 Likes
Sorry to hear this and that there’s not much support for you at home.
It’s tough to be around people who aren’t willing to support us and it’s pretty selfish of anyone to ask someone trying to quit to pick them up booze.
Maybe counseling might help but that just sounds like the right thing to say.
We only have one life so don’t let anyone mess up your journey.
Stay strong and good luck.
2 Likes
That takes courage and proves how committed to your sobriety you are.
3 Likes
Man this is tough, thanks for taking the courage to share with us. Hopefully God will change his heart, and you two can be restored. I am thankful for your steadfastness in sobriety as it will help me remember there is no reason to drink alcohol.
3 Likes
@carrie292719 That is one tough decision to make in your early days of sobriety however I give you praise for putting your sobriety first. I wish you luck my sister.
2 Likes
I applaud you and encourage you to keep going.
I just walked away from a 10 year relationship. I'm almost 4 years sober and over those years, my partner continued to drink and ask me to pick him up stuff too. He didn't respect my boundaries with drinking, as I had asked him many many times not to drink when it was just us spending time together, when we'd go on a date or even at home. I didn't want to be sober and him drinking, it hindered our connection. He always told me he was proud if me for not drinking, but continued and didn't care how it made me feel. I even went so far as to be vulnerable many times, but particularly telling him I don't want to have s*x with you when I'm sober and you're not, it's gross, I can smell and taste it and I'm not attracted to you, drinking. Didn't stop him, didny put a damper on it. I finally asked him to give it up completely, that I was being impacted so much by his drinking, I gave him qn ultimatum, quit or at least try, or I'm leaving. Yanno what he said "this is who I am, take it or leave it" like, alcohol is a vital part of who he is!!? I left. He's blamed me for tearing his heart out, but he literally chose drinking over me and our 10 years. I'm better than that and my sobriety is in tact. I've never gone through such heartache without a drink, it's hard but I'm doing it because I'm soooo much better without alcohol
9 Likes
That does sound horribly painful, and scary at the same time.
I too had to become single for my own reselfish.
And although, a5 the time, my brain told me it selfish. Putting myself and my recovery first was ultimately a gigantic form of self love 
1 Like
Sorry to hear that but glad you are seeing things in recovery. I initially got sober to save my marriage, but ended up getting divorced anyways after 5 years of sobriety.
Yes theres times i think about I wish it worked for the sake of my son, or that I wouldn’t have married her to begin with if it wasmt for my drinking, but i am glad it didnt. I have a great life now, we co-parent decently, and I am still sober!
I am praying for you!
1 Like
Good for you. I just did something similar. I set boundaries and they were blown up a couple of times I hate to admit. But this time I’m not excepting it. I decided to break it off.
It really sucks currently but I know it’s the right thing to do for me.
Thanks for posting and helping me this morning.
1 Like
My partner helped me get sober. But after a while, he started slipping and then just thought he could handle things again in moderation. My sobriety became an inconvenience to him. The longer I stayed sober and refused to cave and join him, the more he indulged to prove that he was fine. In the end, I had to leave because he was losing control and he wasn’t interested in getting help. A year after I left he got sober again, but I couldn’t go back to that life. Sobriety is a gift that you can only give yourself, and you are allowed to protect it when others threaten it.
2 Likes
Outgrowing someone is rough on the heart, but keep on growing sister!
1 Like
Thank you, everyone, for the kind words. It has made me feel better about my decision.
1 Like
New to this app and Currently struggling with this same situation a little differently but thank you for sharing, it's helping me to open my eyes a little more.
2 Likes
I absolutely love this , thank you for sharing your struggles❤️
2 Likes
Well say strong and there is people here to talk to support and help you. If you ever need to talk just hit me or anyone up im willing to talk and help the best of my ability
1 Like
Wow how similar our stories are, how crazy is that. My girlfriend is so proud of me for getting help and quitting drugs but she still uses when I'm around and says she's sorry 
. I end up getting so upset at her because she can't even last a few hours without using with me around. I end up going home and leaving her for a couple of days. She says its all about me and I say yes it is. The next time we get together is after she apologizes and then she does the same thing all over again. I don't know how many more times I will be willing to let this go on. It hurts so much.
1 Like