Let down by a friend

Made dinner plans with a friend last night. He was 45 minutes late and arrived visibly intoxicated. I was so let down. Another person I cannot count on. Had to cut so many people out of life now that I’m sober. Sad my social circle has dwindled. Happy and grateful to have this space to share.

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Better him than you. Extend him grace and celebrate you realizing your worth to maintain your sacred boundaries.

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Thank you Bryan. This means a lot

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Agreed better him than you! My circle got pretty small as well but it had to so I could protect my sobriety.

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Thanks Steve. I appreciate you guys having my back. Hard to find people who truly understand. You’re good people

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That’s what we Alcoholics do. I’m grateful I’m not that person today.

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Make some sober friends!

Good morning Nick

I’m sorry to hear you had to cut another person out of your life. But just remember there’s so many more people that are here to help lift you up.

Through my experience in NA and AA. I found a strong support of sober friends and I am no longer alone. They also hold me accountable when I’m falling short and I don’t see it.

Are you a part of a AA or NA fellowship 

I have done some AA meetings. Mostly on Zoom. Never made a super solid connection with anyone but it was a meaningful experience. Think the thing that hurts about this is this was one of the first friends I made since being sober. It’s a minefield out there! Lesson learned. Need to set stronger boundaries with people in my life. If they drink, I can’t really be your friend.

I hear you. My social circle is almost nonexistent. But, slowly I’m making friends who are more in line with who I am now. I have a running buddy now that I meet up with once a week, and that has helped me. Maybe the Meetup app can help you look for people in your area who are interested in the same things you are…:blush:

Thanks Vanessa. Outside AA having a hard time meeting sober people. What is the meetup app ?

If you go to the AppStore on your phone and look up “MeetUp” I believe the logo is a red and white “M”. You put in the city you live in, and it has all sorts of interests, like hiking groups, or music lovers meetups. I find all artistic classes and meetups there, I actually went to a figure drawing class on there a few weeks ago and LOVED it. It really is an easy way to meet people and make friends. I think they have some sober groups on there as well. :blush:

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You'll find new sober circle I'm on bumbl theirs a friends side ppl looking to make friends i met a girl yesterday at famous Dave's she doesn't look like my usual friends and betting that's a good thing

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Maybe because she looked sober and happy- she never done drugs. And doesn't judge me because I did - try it and I've been on meetup lots of different things you could get into on there

Thank you, all. This is very helpful. Appreciate you. Already starting a sober social circle😇

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Sometimes the smaller the crowd the better. My circle was high when I was drinking now I can count on one maybe two hands sometimes how many people are in touch. I think I am realizing the my sobriety was making them look at their own drinking problems. I am cool with not talking to dam. Hey I have family that don’t even reach out but it’s ok. Tomorrow I will have 3 years and 6 months sobriety. Is it always easy absolutely not but dying is much worse from alcohol and I refuse to go that way. Stay strong. You got this but you have to really want it because sobriety is sometimes not a so pleasant.

Courage, Nick

We're here for you

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I try to keep my network of friends that are in recovery.

A song by Cake comes to mind. "Friend is a Four Letter Word." Not really my favorite music genre but a four letter "friend" decades ago introduced me to the song, funny enough.

I feel you on the dwindled circle. I have 1 friend who is an alcoholic and the two of us almost went to blows when he repeatedly accused me of relapse during a recent episode of insomnia.