On this date, five years ago at 4:15 AM, I fell to the ground to the floor sobbing as I watched my mother laying in the hospital bed mouth gapped open haven’t taken her last breath. Today, I think of how blessed I was to have had her for the time that I did. I bought a bouquet of flowers that I have in a vase and the initial of her first name . I also have a card that says merry Christmas to my mom. Today I chose to turn in the other direction when I saw the fireball liquor, staring back at me for one second, I thought about how it would taste. But I did an about face, and I went to go look for almond milk. Then I decided to just go grocery shopping. About all the great things that I needed to help my body while I change the channel completely in my mind. I cried, I talked to my sister, we talked about how much we miss Mommie and some funny things about her. I did not drink today. I allowed myself to feel all the feels and I did not numb them. I’m going to keep taking it one day at a time.
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Good choice by not drinking today. Awesome way to celebrate your mom’s life.
It’s hard when we first choose to feel our emotions instead of numbing them. I’ve learned that choosing to feel, has made me a much stronger and more compassionate person. I’m sure your mom is proud of you for making the decision not to drink.
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