Let’s talk about “S” salt and peppa)

Recovery
#1

So, went to see NKOTB/S&P/En Vouge in concert and while I had a good time it did get me thinking a lot about dating, relationships, and yes, the “S” word.

Lots of folks at the meetings I go to talk about staying single, not dating and such for the first year of sobriety. In theory I get that. I also here a lot about the value of the fellowship, friends, avoiding HALT (hungry, angry, lonely, tired), etc.

Heck even LOOSID has a dating feature!

I’ve got just under 6 months sober, and am actively working the steps (on /step 9 now). In all honesty, I’m finding myself wanting to date, to have a romance or a fling or whatever but want to be sober too. Lots of married AA’s and such.

So, what’s your view? Stay single for a year or is this “rule” ridiculous?

2 Likes
#3

The point of it is to focus on your sobriety and build a strong foundation before resuming risky behavior. Many people have fallen off the wagon due to a relationship or the loss of one. Ultimately you have decide what is right for you.

2 Likes
#4

Stay sober for a year.focus on you. Go to meetings every day for a year.good job at going to meetings.aa :dromedary_camel:

1 Like
#5

I believe that it is a “suggestion” that we don’t date during the first year of sobriety/recovery. Why? Because most of us, after the trauma of our active addiction, have to learn how to love ourselves again - Before we could possibly love someone else. So we owe it to ourselves and others to work on ourselves that first year - to complete the 12 steps (in 12 months…), to get a service position. To be strong enough in our recovery to handle the BS drama they can sometimes accompany dating.

1 Like
#6

Going to see "NKOTB" will definitely keep you single.....

As many people who have "fallen off the wagon" because if a relationship have gotten sober because of one. Only you really know the answer for yourself.