Just a glass of wine to relax and enjoy this movie, I will go to bed early and wake up refreshed. When in actuality I lose myself to the drink, I am up until 5 am and have to be at work for 8 am, I need to get the kids ready. Sleep deprived all day and anxious, I tell myself never again, just why? I know consequences but keep repeating the same pattern, I am beyond frustrated with myself, wish I was stronger. 
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I would love to join an in person meeting, 
You really should, or even a Zoom meeting. There’s absolutely no judgement, no pushiness, only support and good advice.
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Awe thank you, I really appreciate it and will try and online meeting, 