We just get better and handling life one day at a time without picking up a drink.
This has been a crazy week for me. I'm a truck driver and I have been for almost 37 years. I drive one of those big 18 wheel auto transports. I'm a regional driver who usually leaves out on Sunday morning and returns some time on Thursday afternoon. That's what happens in a normal week anyway.
Traditional holidays sometimes create a thorn in my side because it interferes with my weekly routine depending on which day of the week these holidays fall. The other thing that has been a factor this year has been the weather. If any of you live anywhere near northern Ohio you know about how the Ohio turnpike was shut down for a couple of days because of all the accidents on Friday the 23rd. It was also cold, cold, cold. Auto transporters work in all elements of the weather sometimes.
The other component in this last week is sometimes the runs that you normally do are just not available or it's too late in the week to accept them and so you take whatever you can get home. The days before Christmas, I was in Baltimore at the port. I normally head to Ky but i did a 260 mi local and then I loaded up BMW's for Milwaukee and Madison Wisconsin. Stopped home from Thurs night until Monday morning.
There were so many trucks and cars in the median left over from the storm that I lost count. After I got empty I had to call road service because I had some mechanical issues due to the severe cold weather. Once that problem was solved I went to the hotel in Janesville Wisconsin.
The following morning I picked up at what is known as Belvedere which is the Chrysler plant near Rockford Illinois. I got a straight load all the way back to Baltimore.
When I walked in the office Thursday morning I was talking with the terminal manager. Him and I have a pretty good working relationship. He knows that due to spiritual convictions I never work on Saturday/7th Day Sabbath. He told me that he really needed my help. Corporate likes to get all these cars off the ground and delivered before the end of the year so they can get a pat on the back from the people up above them even though the drivers are the ones who make it all possible.
I agreed to do a load of BMW to Johnstown and Monroeville Pennsylvania. He doesn't really ask me for help that much and so I agreed to do it even though I knew I wasn't going to get back as early as I needed to. I completed that load yesterday and made it back to the hotel near Baltimore, Md.
Car haulers usually have to walk a long way in order to find their cars most of the time also. When the yard gets full at this location they have an alternate staging area which is even a further distance away from where the trucks are allowed to park and load. I don't mind the walking because it's free exercise but when it's really far we usually have a shuttle Monday through Friday that will shuttle us around to get our vehicles to save time.
This is Sat morning.
This is going to take me a lot longer to load my truck than usual. It's a straight load going to Westlake Ohio. And then I live about 15 miles down the road from there. Here I am at a hotel outside Baltimore. I just got done showering and I'm sitting here having a coffee sharing my week before I get started.
Oh' and by the way, I forgot to mention that there have been so many accidents this week because of people being in a big hurry racing around which means long traffic back ups. It hasn't just been the 4 wheelers either. It's been my truck driving comrades, many of whom still need training. This time of the year people take a double dose of stupid pills, I'll tell you.
I try to drive slower than everyone else because I can't trust what anybody else is going to do out here. People somehow think that trucks are going to be able to stop when they jump out in front of you and it just isn't going to happen.
Cars pass you and they're not really going that fast. They get intimided by a little bitty 4 wheeler behind them and so what is their solution? They jump out in front of me. How dumb is that? The average car weighs about 4000 pounds. I'm usually on either side of 80,000 pounds.
So why am I sharing all of this? I just want new people to know that everyone out here has problems. Life doesn't necessarily get easier just because we stop drinking. But we get better at handling life one day at a time without picking up a drink.
Picking up a drink Is all about believing the big lie; That this time, everything will be OK.
But it never is, is it?
My life is not too bad. It's not perfect and it's not always a bed of roses but I do have a lot to be grateful for. I did a lot of relapsing back there in the nineties. I was also sober for almost 9 years starting in 2002 but I relapsed in 2011. It cost me 3 years of oblivion. When I crawled back into the rooms of AA, I realized after a while that the reason I relapsed was because I too believed the big; That this time, Everything will be OK. But it definately wasn't.
If you are new and struggling with sobriety, please get to some meetings. In the beginning, I went to meetings every day for almost 2 years. I highly recommend at least 90 meetings in 90 days. Get yourself a sponsor that will take you through the 12 steps. That's what I did and I'm coming up on 9 years.
Life does get better but don't expect it to simply get easier. Expect yourself to get better at handling life one day at a time as long as you don't pick up the 1st drink. Every time you relapse you put yourself back into what the 12 and 12 labels as the "insidious cycle of insanity."
And that never gets easier!
I hope I helped someone out there stay sober another day.
Happy New Year to everyone and remember not to pick up the 1st drink.
Have phone numbers ready to call.
And if you drive a car, please don't jump in front of trucks. They can't stop on a dime. If you have it, a truck brought it.
Happy Sober New Year!
no one is looking at what's around them? Life as you know isn't easy and I'm sober again since July. I've been going to meetings less then I would like only because I don't have a car, license and I live in the sticks? I do zoom meetings once in awhile but I know I need a sponsor and a home group? I need you Dave to be my sponsor but you are not in New Jersey? Any advice? Thank you for taking the time to help others 