Its been 1 year and 5 months since I moved back to NJ and life isnt getting any better. I am 4 years and 10 months sober from alcohol, and 3 months from the medication I was addicted to.
I go to an AA meeting once a day, sometimes two meetings in a day, i go to individual therapy once a week and group therapy once a week, i do a personal inventory every morning along with about an hour of prayers / meditations / mantras.
I know what I need to actually be happier and healthier, for my life to be better, but what i needed was taken from me and all I need now isnt being given. I promised myself I wouldnt waste another day after I got sober, and here my life is passing me by again.
I thought "joyous, happy, and free" was one of the AA mottos, and i feel like numb mush or longing and despair. Alcohol and drugs made life a little more tolerable, they eventually made it worse so i wont go back to them, but having joy in my life is more challenging then i imagined it would be.