Lifes coming down on me hard

Recovery
#1

I have been without a sip of alcohol for nearly 32 months now. This has been by just living one day at a time and the realization that drinking again will do nothing but create more problems for myself. I’ve been in the best relationship of my life for right around 2 years now. I haven’t been using “the Program” at all. I’ve been winging it and have had good friends along the way that arent alcoholics helping me through.
But I dont know what to do. My depression is as bad as its been my entire sobriety. My dad was diagnosed 2 weeks ago with Stage IV cancer, my job doesn’t bring me happiness anymore, I know alot of people going through their own really tough things, and I just feel endlessly stuck and exhausted. I feel completely alone like no one understands what I’m going through. And I can’t keep living like this.
Drinking is not the solution, I know that much. Its never helped me before and it will only let myself and others around me down if I start again. I’m so exhausted and stuck and feel like lifes just broken me down into tiny pieces right now. Any encouragement or wisdom, whether it be Recovery related or just general kindness would be appreciated.

For now I am just constantly reminding myself that drinking is never the solution.

3 Likes
#2

First congratulations on 32 months! That’s a huge accomplishment and definitely something to be very proud of. I’m sorry that you are struggling with your depression, have you tried any sort of therapy before? I know it’s helped me out of some dark times in my past.

#3

Congratulations on 32 months!!! If you don’t have a therapist I highly recommend you find one and the right one!! Also, do you attend AA meetings? I only attend the same two every week and when I need to I attend more I do. Usually when I need a pick me up. I ALWAYS feel better after a meeting. Connecting with other sober drunks is comforting. Not sure if this helps. You can do this!

#4

First off, 32 months is one heck of a big deal! Super proud of you.

you are not weak for struggling. You’re carrying a lot right now, grief, depression, pressure, pain, and still choosing to stay sober. That’s not small. It’s heroic.

You don’t have to have it all figured out. And you’re not supposed to. If what you’ve been doing isn’t enough anymore, maybe it’s time to try something new. It doesn’t have to be AA, but a great choice, it could just plugging into this community more. You deserve support that meets you where you are.

Life’s hitting hard, but it doesn’t mean you’re failing and white knuckling will only last for so long. One thing I do know is… you need support, don’t go out the alone