Struggling with going to bed alone, as well as with “lust.” Even at my current age of 33, after being able to move out of my parents house at the early age of 17, I have never been able to own a house or dwelling place of my own, even though I was married for 10 years and had 3 children with my now exwife, in that time. Also from infancy on, I have never lived alone, even though i was raised to be an “independent man,” as modern society teaches we are supposed to be, although most of human history shows us operating the opposite way. All that to say, I find myself back in my old room where i spent my teen years growing up, and old habits and hangups keep coming up in my mind and “heart.” So I’m currently struggling with those as im also trying to heal from a variety of health issues, that have also affected my brain and mental health along with the rest of my body. Ive been sober for a while now, including years free from opioid addiction as well as numerous other drugs and medications. I also find it so true what some often say, “hurt people, hurt people.” As I find myself in so much need of “healing,” because I have so much Love in my “heart,” and I also know that i cannot continue to help and Love others, unless I am able to be “healed,” and Love myself.
I know this was long, and I would like to thank you for your time in reading this. My hope is that this will bring some understanding, and maybe someone would be able to relate, and find it helpful in some way. 
❤🔥❤🩹
You are never alone.
I am here. We are here.
Most importantly God is with you. With us. I am but just a message away. I am glad you shared how your feeling. And being lonely is best in sobriety. I have been single for 1 month and 25 days. Just as I am clean and sober and it feels amazing. I am not distracted and or feeling worried or upset.
Sorry I cant see much is there a possibility we can chat here online. I felt that when I lost my ex fiance god rest his soul. And work on yourself getting better. And keep your chin up. There is always someone else looking to talk too in the same situation as you. You are never alone. Stay strong. You got this. And the one will find you when your ready. You will know.
I feel you brother! I’m alone for the first time if forever. I have my kids and am healing. I’m separated and trying to navigate that plus 4.5 years of being clean and sober. I do miss having a partner and for the first time in a long time I feel alive and know I don’t need anyone else. I can take care of myself which is such an incredible feeling. You got this brother!! You are not alone, reach out if you need to.
Take confidence in the fact u are opening up. recovery is a beautiful thing the rest is life and spiritual attacks u will get through
Funny thing is, I’ve been going to bed, “alone,” for over 3 1/2 years now, since getting kicked out, and then divorced, despite doing my best my whole life. And I still struggle with feeling this way so hard. I guess if nothing is easy so far, it never will be. And if I’m not used to it by now, maybe I’ll never be either. oh well, I’ll just be over here all crazy like. 
I know I’m new here, I just want to communicate that I’ve been in “recovery,” for years now. Yet even with all of my brain issues, I’m loving all of the support and encouragement on here, thank yall.