I’m in a bad glass half empty headspace—2022 was a nightmare and a reminder of how much of a failure I am; I am also absolutely terrified for what devastation 2023. Spending NYE alone in my apartment with no well wishes from everyone reminds me just how much I’ve ruined my life, and something tells me 2023 is going to be the year of relapse.
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Oof, sounds like you’re in a bad place. Have you been to a meeting lately?
I went to one yesterday morning but I’m not sure I have the energy today—I might do a zoom one because today is day 87 and I’m so close to completing my 90 in 90.
In my morning meditation I as my HP to guide my thoughts and actions, keeping my thoughts divorced from
Selfishness
Dishonesty and
Self pity
I suggest you give it a try.
Hi Colin, hope today finds you a little better. 2023 will be what you make of it. It is so important to live it one day at a time! One day at a time helped me, especially earlier on, build my foundation and add up the days of my sobriety. Don't think too far ahead. Don't take that negative outlook on days that haven't even happened yet.
In my journey, part of my healing process and growth, was I had to change my negative way of thinking, of expecting each day was going to be horrible, and telling myself that I was going to fail. If your attitude is telling you 2023 is going to be a year of relapse, then it will be, you, your addiction will see to that, I know mine sure as heck self fulfilled that prophecy. I'm not saying go about your life and be happy every day, that's not realistic, just keep going to meetings, keep sharing on here, and start setting yourself up to succeed. Complete your 90 in 90! That is a huge accomplishment! Then give yourself kudos for completing that, you've earned that. Start adding things that are helpful to you. It's so easy to shoot ourselves down, tell ourselves we suck at life and will always be miserable. You need to dispell that thinking.
Every night I say 5 things I am grateful for that were a part of my day. (There could be many more negative things that happened that day, but I don't focus all my energy on those, I can think about them briefly and see what I could learn, but I don't spend my time in negativity) There was also a time period of about 4 months were I was always down on myself and felt like I wasnt doing anything with my life, so for the next 3 months daily I wrote down 5 things I did that day, and found I actually do more than I gave myself credit for. Doesn't have to be extravagant things either. I am looking at one day now
Made my bed
Brushed my teeth
Flossed
Ate healthy
Went for a walk
Seems simple, but that day was great self care for me. And for 3 months straight, those things all added up and I can look at my living my life.
2023 will be what you make of it! One day at a time
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