Im almost two months sober. I’ve been dealing with/letting go of a lot of shame, embarrassment, regret. But for the most part I like being in control of myself. What I’m struggling with is a soul crushing boredom and loneliness that I realize always brought me to drinking. Now I’m just addressing it. And recently seeing people I haven’t seen in a while finding out I’ve stopped drinking and being loud about it to others where I then have to talk about it when I just want to get out of my head for a while makes it even worse. Im at the most peace I’ve ever felt. But no joy. I feel invisible.
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Patricio thank you for sharing you struggles. I don’t have all the answers but I can say that your not alone. I too have had this feeling of invisibility or no joy. The peace you feel is the body and mind starting to be in sync with or chemical balance is taking place. I’m no doctor just my opinion. As for finding joy, I had to really force it. I would go on hikes, volunteer at the food bank twice a week. These things actually brought me joy. I didn’t have many friends so it wasn’t a big shock to have them still drink or find out I’m sober… but now that I go to AA I’m making all kinds of friends. Ones that actually care.
I’m here if you need or want to chat.
By the way
Lonely island is a funny music group… featured on Saturday night live…
Thanks so much for sharing Patricio. First year of sobriety is extremely awkward. It’s only developing connections with others, conversation by conversation, that allows that feeling to start to subside and the feeling of joy to start a manifest. Please let me know if there’s anyway I can help 