Lonely thoughts

Recovery
#1

It would just be really nice to spend a Saturday night with someone again before I die.

Ten years is a long time to have no interested. It’s not normal.

Sometimes I get so lonely my body actually aches. I hate how pathetic I am. Nobody wants this in a man.

I hate that I have no outlet, really. I just drove around the country today for hours blasting hardcore. I wish I wasn’t in so much pain from my clavicle. I really miss lifting weights. I was actually starting to feel better about myself.

I haven’t drank in 345 days and I feel I’m entering the part where you realize how much loneliness and self loathing you really were trying to mask all the time.

I just wish I didn’t feel so alien to humanity.

4 Likes
#2

It really helped me to reach out to another in times like these. It gets me out of self and makes me feel better when I can help another. When Bill W went into the bars and started pulling drunks off the bar stools he found he couldn’t get them sober or drunk. But, he found it kept him sober. This speaks to the heart :heart: of the program I work. I can’t think my way into better actions, but I can act my way into better thinking. Amen :pray:

#4

One thing that helped me is to get involved at AA/NA meetings. Show up early to help set up (service work) and fellowship. Hang out after the meeting and fellowship. Tonight after our NA speaker meeting, most of us went out to Piesanos to have dinner and hang out with each other. Find you a meeting that does things like this regularly. Do you have a sponsor?

#5

You aren't alone. I've been single since 2006 by choice. I just finally got into a relationship 18 months ago. This has not only been by choice but because I'm picky and was drinking. I didn't drink the first year of the relationship. But then we started on New Years and I kept going until June! He lives 5 hours away an has commitments this summer so I spent the last 8 weeks getting sober. Don't know if it will continue. We'll always be friends as we've known eachother for 35 years. Point being....I have to be sober in order to have healthy relationships so give it time because the healthier you are the more likely you'll attract a healthier person not a toxic one. Hang in there! Our society has changed. I miss meeting others organically.

#6

Maybe you could program a lower body workout till your clavicle heals up? Lunges, air squats, leg press, scissors, ect.. Just to get the blood pumping and endorphins flowing helps alot. I'm trying to work something up to start Monday. I broke my ankle so I haven't worked out in 6 weeks now, still cant do much leg exercises. Even getting sun helps my mood too. I took a good break off dating and my sponsor suggested writing a relationship ideals sheet before I jumped back in. Just to get a picture of what I'm looking for,and the person I'd like to be to be able to hold up my end of the relationship. I found it useful and it gave me things to work towards (emotionally, spiritually, financially, physically, socially) the little wins helped me build confidence. If you want I can send you the sheet if you'd like?

#7

Hang in there man. Are there any groups, clubs or meet-ups for anything you like to do? Sometimes it helps having something to work on with a group to meet new people.