Long Term Relationship Trust Rebuilding & Patience

What is the long term mindset for reconciling and recovery with a spouse you aren’t willing to let go? I’m the addict, she likes to booze once in a while and it totally impacts her moods but I am forbidden to call it out. I’m serious about sobriety now but she has walls up everywhere and staying on guard.

We went on a six month separation where I moved out while worked on sobriety, but we still saw each other monthly. I relapsed until a couple months ago and I’m moving back in because we see progress we can build on in many different ways, mainly from my level of commitment and belief in myself. I feel like I’ve surrendered to sobriety finally.

However she has walls up everywhere and I’m trying to accept the best thing is sober time so less words, less convincing, and more sober choices over the course of time.

She’s got a sharp attitude and very demanding about her space, time, and feels a little power tripping under the guise of protecting her emotional safety.

What mantras can I keep telling myself during tense situations or difficult situations?

The Serenity Prayer comes immediately to mind. You cannot change her, all you can change is your actions and reactions.

We have all hurt people that we love. It is part of the disease. And just as we need time to build a program of recovery, our loved ones need time to heal and see us for who we are now, not who we were. For as much as we would like, there is no way to shortcut this process.

The best thing you can do for yourself and your relationship is to continue to focus on your sobriety. Your actions likely will resonate far more than your words. Humbly show her that you are taking steps to live a sober life. Your sobriety has to come first because without it, you cannot rebuild the relationship.

Have hope and practice patience.

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She had another irrational outburst today. It was extremely frustrating. For me it was just another Tuesday being engaged in her life. For her, it was something else in her mind, anticipating I was instigating some type of recurring pattern. She drank tonight. Surprise. Surprise.