I've been an everyday user since I was 17. I was always against all drugs except marijuana. Marijuana is not a drug so society really needs to stop calling it that. I started using met to numb the pain and feelings of wanting to kill myself shortly after my biological mom was murdered by the man the 3 years prior to that made my mom and brother rape me over and over for 5 days straight. I've been in recovery multiple times and just recently I was able to admit why I always end going back to getting high. Its because I absolutely refused to go to traditional 12 step meetings cuz the very first one I went to I get up in the middle of it, all people do in those meetings is glorify about their using days, and to this day I tell people all the time, if you can't find any drugs go to an n/a or a/a meeting drugs flood them rooms. I always felt like I could do it on my own, I didn't need a sponsor or sober people around me, and I could be around people when they were getting high and nit want to use. It never worked for me. I was clean and sober l, working the program enjoying life for once for 3btears. Excited cuz I was getting ready to start the requirements for my dream job, becoming a recovery coach but I want to not be a recovery coach for everyone I want to be one for the youth. In recovery ur taught that a relapse starts way before you use, I can't remember how long before. I don't know why cuz I wasn't thinking about getting high, fiending for it anything. When I got clean this last time I made myself a promise that it was the last time, I would never use again. However you learn in recovery that relapse is part of recovery, every addict relapsed. Almost a year and a half ago I relapsed once again and beat myself up everyday because of it. I was using very heavily everyday, more then I was any time before that. February 4th, 2026 was the last day I used. Ya it took me 2 1/2 months to completely stop but that doesn't matter. Everyone tells myou don't get dope suck when u do meth, u don't have withdrawals coming off meth and you can't overdose on meth. Everyone of those statements are false. I overdosed a couple years after I started using, had a major stroke, spent 3 months in the ICU cuz It was like I was a newborn baby again, I had to release everything, how to talk, how to walk, how to read,bwrite, literally everything. In January 2026 when I decided to stop I went thru the worst withdrawals I've ever experienced in my life. I layed in bed for 6 days withdrawing, shaking uncontrollably, throwing up, pooping everywhere ect. I've withdraked off heroin and Suboxone and I thought Suboxone withdrawals were the worst withdrawals you could go thru, I was wrong. Those 6 days withdrawing from meth was honestly the worst withdrawals I have ever experienced and seen in my life and I never want to go thru them again. It didn't start happening til I was over the drug game, got on a bus, and came to the other side of the country. If I didn't have meth I was physically sick. Idk if you know this but there's a big difference between a relapse and a lapse. A lapse u only use a couple of times, a relapse you continue to use. The beginning of this month I had a lapse. And I'll be honest ya I'm addicted to the drugs but I'm more addicted to the fast easy money. My best friend told me the other night when I told him that, ok well all money is not good money. I thought I could continue to sell and not use. I proved myself wrong very quickly. I don't really know if you can consider it a lapse or not cuz the lady in got it from gave me fake dope. So the next day, on the 4th I was seriously over it. The dope where I'm currently at is no good, ur very lucky if u get even just the tiniest bus and it's not worth what these dealers charge for it and I was sick of wasting money even thought I made back what I spent plus a lot more. I took 180 muscle relaxers in 5 days last week cuz I was in so much pain and slept the entire 5 days. I woke up Saturday morning very early and I am not at all a morning person. All I wanted to do was smoke a bowl or do a line. I knew I still had real dope in my hiding spot so I went and got it and haven't been able to stop. I'm actually waiting on some to be delivered as I'm typing this. I really deep down want to stop completely, I hate the way the dope around here makes me feel and I know if I don't I have absolutely no chance of getting my pain meds back on the 10th of next month cuz I won't be able to pass a drug test and here you have to before your doctor can put you on a pain contract. And I have already been kicked off a pain contract this year. I've always been honest with my doctor since the first visit,bshe knew I get high everyday but she also knew I was doing everything I knew to get cleanvso she never tested me or made me do a pill count. She recently switched locations and I wasn't able to make it to my 3 month appointment, I didn't know u had to see ur Dr every 3 months, so she told me to go to her old location and referred me to a Dr there. I was really hesitant to even call and set up an appointment with her cuz I've always heard nothing but bad stuff about her, never once have I heardv1 good thing about her. But I'm a very strong believer that everyone deserves not only a chance but a second chance. So I called and made the appointment for the following morning. I actually showed up and when she asked me what she could do for me I told her I needed refills on my pain meds and asked her if she could bump me up to taking them 2 times a day. She told me ya sure I don't see any problem with that but you know the rules I have to drug test you first. I knew I was screwed cuz I smoked a bowl right before my ride showed up to take me. I tried anyways. I went to the bathroom and pushed so hard for 15 minutes that I was starting to feel like I was going to pass out. So I went and told her and asked if I could come back first thing in the morning to try again and she wouldn't let me cage told me to go back to my room she was going to get me some water and when I ft I wasready to try again I knew where the bathroom is at. When I got back in my room I was reading my texts waiting for her to bring me some water and got a text from my ride telling me I had to hurry up she had a bunch of other things she had to do that day, if I wasn't out there in 10 minutes she was going to leave me. So I walked out. That doctor told my doctor she took me off my pain contract because I failed my drug test cso I don't even know if legally she can put me back on one. I can't stop using right now, it's almost I can think about, I crave it all day, I fiend for it please let me know what I can do to stop. Thanks in advance. Have a blessed day
THC and other cannabinoids are definitely a drug. "Drug" is a nomenclature and societal issue. Pot changes your mental state pretty drastically. I'd say that's a drug. As well as the other effects like CBD and cbg etc.