Loosid Sober Tip of the Day February 9

Sober Tips
#1

Looking further into the stigma of shame & guilt.

The definition of stigma is a mark of shame or discredit. A STAIN

The stigma that alcoholism or addiction is something to be ashamed of prevents millions of us from getting the help we need.

This is a stigma and a stain that needs to be erased because it kills the very millions mentioned above who buy into it.

Far too many of us feel it is our fault (guilt) that we cannot handle substances, while so many others can.

What you need to know is that it is not your fault.

We cannot wish it away any more than we can wish away diabetes or high blood pressure.

It is a disease and very thankfully, it is one that is 100% treatable provided that we follow a spiritual program.

It is also critical to understand you are not alone. There are tens of millions of us who share this same common bond that we can connect with and who can show you what it takes to get to the other side.

Once we understand this, the guilt and shame often completely evaporates on the spot and we become willing to receive help.

If you are new to recovery, it is absolutely critical that you know this. If you are confused, PLEASE ask questions below as our entire community is here to help you.

If you have been in recovery for a while, take this time to share some tips to let the newcomers understand they are not alone.

There are many people in the Loosid community who need to hear what you have to say.

With Love, Loosid :pray::heart:

7 Likes
#2
#3

Hmmm. Well more often than not diabetes and high blood pressure do have something to do with lifestyle choices. Ditto for alcoholism. Wallowing in guilt and shame won’t help, but taking action does.

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#4

A disease. I’m not ashamed! Move forward today!

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#5

To a certain extent I agree with lifestyle choices, but only a little. In a society so infiltrated with alcohol, did you honestly expect to become alcoholic? I didn’t. I was drinking to have fun and to socialize, when I started. I didn’t intend to hurt people. I didn’t think I was morally deficient. At some point it changed into something, else. At that point it was no longer a lifestyle choice. That’s the point where my morality slipped and I began to hurt. At that point, I had no choice in the matter. The only choice I could make was to get better. That took a strength, that no one should be ashamed of.

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#6

Society is pretty much obsessed w drinking. It’s a legal drug that’s acceptable if not encouraged in most social circles. To admit alcohol doesn’t work for you and/or is destroying your life and health is actually brave. I hope someday the public and Big Alcohol will stop glorifying it and we can all admit it’s an addictive chemical poison. For those of us who are in recovery we should b proud of ourselves. This journey is not easy. Today I choose sobriety and it doesn’t matter what anyone thinks :open_mouth:

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#7

Diabetes and HBP have a genetic component, and so does addiction. Few of us don’t have relatives who are also alcoholics or addicts. What we have is an almost allergic reaction to drugs or alcohol. Acceptance and surrender to doing what is necessary to arrest the addiction - abstinence - is the way to ‘win’. Victory through surrender. The fact that others may be uncomfortable with my not drinking or using is not my problem. I’ve been asked in social situations why I don’t drink and I say that it doesn’t work for me - or that I am practicing to be a Mormon. That shuts them up….

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#8

Ok fair point. I didn’t intend to become an overeater or alcoholic either. Still my fault I believe. I don’t know about you, but I always knew that stuffing marshmallows into my face or having more than one glass of wine was a bad choice. I believe I always had the choice to not do so, but chose to spend years in denial instead. And yes I felt guilty and ashamed. What’s wrong with admitting that I messed up, and feeling bad about it? Now I’m feeling equally proud that I learned to make better choices, instead blaming society, genetics, or such for my disease

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#9

Well yeah, but we are talking stigma. You generally are not going to be shamed for stuffing marshmallows in your face or having more than one glass of wine. You will get shamed for not being able to stop shoving marshmallows in your face or not being able to stop having glasses of wine. For most alcoholics, once the first drink is in us, there are no personal choices. Only alcoholics understand that. It’s why normies shame us for it, because they don’t understand that we do not have a choice. To make things worse, even when we show restraint and abstain, we are shamed for not having (or not being able to have) “just one”.

#10

Again, I don’t know about you, but nobody ever shamed me for overeating or over drinking. But I felt quite ashamed and guilty about unintended consequences, like sub par work performance, or often being emotionally unavailable to my kids. That I was judged on by others for sure. And rightfully so! Eventually those feeling of guilt and shame shook me out of my denial, and into sobriety. What is it these days that people need to feel good about themselves at all cost? Feeling bad, being judged, stigma if you wish, are only a problem if you get stuck feeling like a victim.

#11

That’s healthy Nadja. I’m that way too. But the fact that we are not affected by others shaming doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. For others, that are not as comfortable with their condition, that can keep them from getting the help they need. I think that was the point, but im not sure.:slightly_smiling_face:

That’s why we have to break the stigma by showing our sober a$$ selves. Like be that cool sober person people know.

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#12

Yeah I agree on that. Overall I find todays tip confusing. It’s not our fault, we had no choice, being judged equals stigma. How about simply saying: ‘help is available if you need it’? :face_with_monocle:

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#13

It’s not our fault that we have a disease. But it’s our responsibility to arrest it. Help, love, and support are out there.

#14

Thanks Vicki. So well said and so true

1 Like
#15

Yep yep! So true! It will all go away once you work the steps! Practice your daily reprieve