Loosid Sober Tip of the Day June 9

Sober Tips
#1

The gift of desperation.

This saying is used quite often throughout the spiritual program of recovery. Though the phrase seems to be contradictory in nature, it is not.

The simple truth is that many if not most who suffer from alcoholism or addiction need to get the gift of desperation in order to enter a spiritual program of recovery.

Why is this?

Yesterday, we discussed three reasons why we think we do not have a disease.

Because of this, we keep trying to control our drinking or substance abuse until we finally reach a point that the pain that our disease has caused too much pain. It simply becomes too much.

This is called the GIFT of desperation.

Unfortunately, millions of people each year never get to that point. This is precisely why we call it a gift.

If you are reading this, take solace in the fact that you most likely have received the gift of desperation.

Now it’s your job to throw everything you have into the spiritual program of recovery.

Why? Because you deserve it.

How did this tip resonate with you? Let us know your thoughts below. There are many people in the Loosid community who need to hear what you have to say.

With Love, Loosid :pray::heart:

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#2
#3

I relapsed for 9 mos.I’m on Day 41. I felt entirely worthless for drinking. I had 13+ yrs of sobriety..I got the gift of desperation. It took 5 months to get 30 day chip. The compulsion was more intense. Cravings were more intense. I had to have alcohol. I couldn’t fix it on my own..I tried. I had to settle down and went to AA in December 2022. On April 29 I got my chip. My relationship with my informed son would deteriorate. I was so filled with guilt and shame it was unbearable. I got sick of myself. If I continued, I’d shut myself off and drink until the end. My 3 siblings died from alcoholism. My family’s gone now except my son. He’s my staunchest supporter. He’s proud of me. The AA’s are also happy for me. The cravings are intense. Yesterday my mind took me there. Drink and start over. Hide it. Lie to everyone. Well, I made a two page list why it would be disastrous to drink. All very very good reasons not to do it. One being if I woke up this morning realizing I drank, I would loathe myself..and I’d have done it to myself. It’s a trap. It’s a trap..and it will F your mind up.

4 Likes
#4

I so relate to your post! I had 9 years clean and sober. The obsession and compulsion were COMPLETELY removed when I worked the steps w my sponsor early in my recovery. After a few years I slowly stopped following the suggestions of the program, distanced myself from my recovery and support. My thinking slowly changed-didn’t believe I was a REAL alcoholic or that my sobriety was a daily reprieve based on my spiritual condition. I began drinking and it took almost 8 years for me to get back into recovery. The obsession, compulsion, cravings were so much worse than the 1st time! Thankfully 10.5 months into recovery the cravings, obsession, compulsion have been removed again w working the 12 step program of AA w a sponsor and every day I pray that I never forget that pain and desperation and that I stay close w my AA support, sponsor, remain teachable- living the principles each day. :two_hearts:

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#5

Oh, the mental and emotional anguish..from the first day of relapse, like a real alcoholic, I snuck the alcohol into my house. It was automatic..I’m new in this neighborhood. I don’t know anyone. I felt so guilty..best of luck to you.

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#6

I relapsed in July 2004. It lasted 4.5 years and two DUI’s!! Over my lifetime I’d had 5 dui’s..I’m a real alcoholic. I went to rehab for that relapse..

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#7

The gift of desperation, causes us to shift the operation of our mind and our willpower to “whatever it takes,” & “by any means necessary,” Ultimately we explore and exhaust all available options.

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#8

Kathy, I picked up a 15 year chip in 2005 and been struggling to get back sober since then. I have 89 days today. The first 30 days were really rough but one day at a time it got easier. Keep up the good work. You still have all that knowledge that you received during your years of sobriety!!

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#9

What does the gift of desperation mean to me? When my mental, physical and emotional pain caused by alcohol exceeds my mental obsession (I can control and enjoy drinking) and my physical allergy (once I drink I cannot stop). To the point I’m on my knees begging to be sober and becoming willing to do anything.
Here is a little of my story and my first experience of the gift of desperation.
(Alert might be graphic or triggering to some)
I will never forget after 10 years of daily drinking and blacking out literally ever day when I tried to stop.
I was waking up every morning shaking so violently I couldn’t even hold my toothbrush without getting alcohol in me in the mornings. Through my alcoholism I destroyed all my relationships including family, I was alone and isolated. The only thing I had left in my life was work and drinking.
Every time I tried to stop or control my drinking not matter how, it always ended the same. I awake to find a new bottle empty with no memory of drinking or even getting it.
I was so desperate to stop but I could not, I even had an suicide attempt as I could not see a way out. DESPERATION!
However this got me to finally say I NEED HELP!
Then I found the rooms of AA. I found my tribe at last I was not alone! I was a part of a community and felt connected to others. That pain inside started to lift.
I got a sponsor and worked the steps. My mind was blown! I found that though my behavior and actions during my alcoholism it was actually me making my own worst fear come true.
That desperation I felt way back then I use as motivation to keep working on recovery. I have stumbled, I have fallen a few times. But I will never allow myself to feel that way ever again.
My gift of desperation!

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#10

89 days sounds great to me!! Relapse happens..long as we keep trying. I had serious craving yesterday. So I sat down and both sides of paper with reasons why I don’t want to drink..I couldn’t hardly think of any good reason TO drink..I took picture of the paper…so I can pull it up and remind myself.

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#11

I identify so so much with you. :pray: Thank you for sharing :heart: