Today is hard. I already had trust issues with humans and it's been one of the things I have been working on while in treatment. My trust was breached last night and now I feel I can not trust anyone here and that's a HUGE trigger. It's really hard for me right now not to just say "f_ck it" and ignore the last 51 days of treatment. I don't think I was rash in my decision to leave this place, I simply can't be nor continue to recover in a program where I no longer trust anyone.
I packed up last night and just waiting for family to come pick me up today. I'm planning to go to a meeting when I get home and hope I don't relapse. I guess I just need suggestions on how to stay present and on the right path. I really don't want to relapse, I have come a long way in my recovery and don't want to lose my sobriety.
Keep up with the meetings, get a sponsor as soon as possible. Keep playing the tape to the end. You know what happens when you use… eyes on the prize, the end game is don’t use TODAY. Tomorrow start over and don’t use.
Recovery is a tricky thing, we have to do what’s best for us in our own interests. Using is never one of those instances. Good luck!
I agree with Tim. Get to a meeting .. make connections.. find your sober lifelines.
Acceptance. That's what it's about. That statement that people call a prayer. Accepting things we can't change because the only other option is to become toxic over it.
Some people sĂĽck. Lots of people don't.
You will learn to trust again in time till then get to a lot of meetings and join in all the fellowship before and after the meeting. The right people will stand out to surround yourself with or have more in depth conversations about recovery. It’s okay to be skeptical of people, fight or flight instinct is there for a reason but don’t let it stand in the way of an opportunity to meet some great trustworthy people as they are out there
I went to a 90 day women's rehab. Talk about trust!!! But it did help me work through my trust issues in a constructive and safe environment. It prepared me for life outside of rehab. There have been times since that those tools have come in handy. I still have trust issues from past hurts but I do not make rash decisions anymore or have a immediate response. It took time but now I only let supportive people in my life. Its my choice now and I deserve it, so do you.
I’d really focus on the core of your trigger. I wouldn’t risk my sobriety over someone or something breaking my trust because I have dealt with severe trust issues my whole life … I’m not ever surprised when I get betrayed cause it’s always happened.
Having your internal feelings of being safe jeopardized over someone breaking your trust would be worth looking into.
I pay close attention to EVERYTHING. I notice missteps, energy changes, I will remember if you change your story, I will hang on to every one of your “dishonest” actions and I will not believe a single thing you tell me. I like to see how much or how far someone will go trying to deceive me and the. Poof just like that you’re told exactly what I think and then I’ll leave that person alone for good.
Finding something other than your recovery to hang onto is remaining in your sick mind. It’s not allowing you to focus on the goodness of recovery.
If I’m out of line let me know.
Hope you’re doing okay today. 