There's not much left of me after nearly 2 decades of trying to escape depression and anxiety via the needle, which only made it worse. I'm afraid I've reached a point of no return now. I'm so cloudy, numb, and can't think straight, etc... and I lack the motivation to care. I'm so very lonely but the thought of being around people gives me a panic attack. I can't live like this much longer but I don't know what to do. . MAT? or probably inpatient psychiatric/detox. Idk how to choose the best place to go. I'm afraid I'll change my mind and walk out bc its so hard to let go of my "crutch". And I have literally no family support since my mom died 2 years ago and I weeded out my so called friends which left zero. All i have is my dog
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That’s a lot on your plate. With the depression/anxiety issues I feel an inpatient psychiatric/detox would work best for you. I’ll be here to support you and root for you. I know how hard it is to have zero friends and no family.
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I agree with mirah, you need inpatient dual diagnosis treatment. I was a needle user myself amongst other things. But as you know Melissa that stuff out there now ain't the dope we grew up on. If maintenance keeps a needle out of your arm so be it. Do it. I work in treatment now and between that and my own friends I've lost track of the deaths of the people I know and care about. You can always reach out Send me a friend request etc. I've got 18 months sober now after a 30 year addiction to everything including heroin.
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Just remember maintenance is a short term solution to a spiritual issue.
Let me know if you need to find a place and I will find one for you. Give yourself a chance, its never to late if you are still breathing. Alot of people like us are not. This sh-t really is life or death.
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You are searching for the right answer and realizing what it is. I have faith you will find it soon!!! Reach out to someone to help you!
I am dually diagnosed, I would suggest treating both issues. You can find a lot of support on 12 step fellowships. DRA is one that offers help that I can identify with.
I was not a needle user so I don't know about the withdrawals, get help though, as others here have suggested. We cannot do this alone.
Don't allow the devil to isolate you. Let God bring you out of despair. Let jesus take you by the hand and guide you through all this
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I know you have been through a lot of challenges in your life , A lot of pain follows those storms, I know I've been through them also , Lose of a parent, giving up on your self, Thrown all those friendships away, Knowing that they were not really there for me anyways, or they would have argued to stay in my life , yes life can be difficult, I know because I've been through multiple storms , To find out who was there and who wasn't there in the end,
First off, your dog fucing needs you. You can't be that person that drops him off at a shelter. Second. Your here, posting, so you do give a fuc. The only way to quit a bad habit is to start a good habit. Reframing your brain for enjoyment. You will not get the answers here, advice yes. But no answers. Find new activities and meet people that can help. Go to church or narcotics anonymous
You have a large community of people in recovery. Check out some na meetings and please get help we care about you
I agree with Miriah. I went to a hospital a couple times and got help to detox.
This may seem like your crutch for now, but once you are able to flush everything out of your body and clear your mind, you’ll find healthier crutches.
Junkie to junkie. It took me 31 yrs. To quit. With no family its gonna be a little tougher for you than it was me. And as far as getting rid of old friends. That's the best thing you could do. You need to find a safe place to go. A faith based rehab would be my recommendation. Where you have to commit the next year of your life to it. You will never be alone there. You're not alone now. Even though it might feel like you are.
Hi Melissa. I think inpatient treatment would be helpful if you go somewhere that treats addiction and mental health. I also recommend having Jesus in your life and praying
Keep fighting for the life you were meant to live. Fight for that sweet, innocent little girl (you) that never deserved all the bad that's happened, she deserves that precious, beautiful life. You deserve a beautiful life. Don't let this disease rob her, and you, of anymore of your time here. Life can be beautiful and will be incredible. You just have to fight and never give up, and you will win. It won't be easy, it will take a lot of work and dedication, but it will happen. You will beat this, just don't give up. Seek out all the help and support there is so you can heal your wounds and learn the tools and skills that you can pull out and use anytime you need.
You can do this 
Xoxo
Inpatient treatment, trauma and addiction based. Outpatient groups. One-on-one counselling/therapy. Healthy morning and daily routines. Healthy hobbies. Follow your (true) passions. Structure and routine.
You can do Iit.. Believe and Trust in God.. he won’t let you down !!