I relapsed last night blacked out and did some horrible things. I feel like a pos 
woke up so sick and the shame is killing me. Once again having to apologize to everyone. Gosh I hate alcohol so much why do I do this!
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Hi Sindel. Unfortunately I have been there so many more times than I can count. You are not alone in the slightest. Please reach out if you need or want someone to chat with 
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Allow yourself Grace. 🫶
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Just pick yourself up and keep moving forward. Don’t let this relapse define you. You’re only human and recovery is a process.
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One day, one hour, one minute at a time. This does not define you - you’re only human! Much love
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Hey love, we all been there. I knew I definitely have. Your taking the biggest step right now and that’s by taking accountability for what happened. Make an amends with yourself and forgive yourself and the shame and guilt will eventually subside. Sending lots of love and prayers your way
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Incomprehensible demoralizations is what we do best. Hang in there Sindel… we all have been there. Just pick yourself back up and start over
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It’s gonna be ok, just keep your faith in the lord and start your sober journey again. God bless.
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Be gentle with yourself, I drank on Wednesday, & I gave up 3 years, I have been beating myself up, & today i decided enough is enough, & I did something about it, I called an old recovery friend, & she reminds me that , self loathing, or putty and s still our disease trying to get us to drink again, you can’t change what’s already happened, but yiu can s start now by putting yourself down on your amends list , & take this one day at a time!
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Give yourself grace. We are alcoholics. Drinking is what we do in our natural state.
Getting and staying sober means working on replacing the thoughts, emotions, and ideas that were once the guiding forces in our lives.
Pick yourself and keep going. Don’t worry about apologies. The steps are in order for a reason.
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It's OK don't beat yourself up just get back up again and keep going you can do and always remember your not alone in this battle
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Don't apologize. I kept relapsing until I just couldn't stand the spin cycle anymore. Be kind to yourself. We'll all be kind to you!
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Today is a new day, yesterday is gone. Put the bat down and start over.
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You did this because you believed the big lie that picking up a drink was going to make you feel better.
It let you down again didn't it??
I want you to hold on to this shame and everything you're feeling for as long as you can and I want you to remember this feeling the next time you think about picking up a drink.
I want you to read something that comes from a chapter in the big book entitled the doctor's opinion. It tells us why we drink, why we can't stop and what the solution is.
Doctor's Opinion
Men and women drink essentially because they like the effect produced by alcohol. The sensation is so elusive that, while they admit it is injurious, they cannot after a time differentiate the true from the false. To them, their alcoholic life seems the only normal one. They are
*restless, irritable and discontented
unless they can again experience the sense of ease and comfort which comes at once by taking a few drinks—drinks which they see others taking with impunity. After they have succumbed to the desire again, as so many do, and the
*phenomenon of craving develops,
they pass through the well-known stages of a spree, emerging remorseful, with a firm resolution not to drink again. This is repeated over and over, and unless this person can experience an
*entire psychic change
there is very little hope of his or her recovery.
Sindel
This psychic change is acquired by doing the 12 steps in AA.
You never have to drink again!
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I know that relapse is part of recovery, but don't beat yourself up over it, get back up and get with your sponsor and share with a group what went wrong and what u can do different next time your feeling like relapsing, know that u are not alone in this process
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Don’t be so hard on yourself, get to a meeting, 12 steps , fellowship, I understand. Have a great day.
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You are accepted here and loved here very much reach out next time to your sponsor to eightyone in recovery that is working a program before.
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I found that like it says in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous.
I had lost control in choice of drinking.
There is a solution.
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People relapse because they have not gotten into the solution, and they have their own ideas about how to recover. Ideas that have been tried and have failed.
Recovery is a program of action, but many people are sitting around twiddling their thumbs, trying to recover on shear willpower.
As it says in the doctor's opinion,
"Unless this person can experience an entire psychic change, there is very little hope of his or her recovery."
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Thankyou for your honesty to share that! Been there more times than I can count and very nearly lastnight...reading your post was a blessing to me as a reminder of how close I came to a morning just as you described. Wish I had words of wisdom for you...only understanding and virtual hugs...today is a new day. The only one we really have and all that matters is right now living in the past has always led me back to drinking. In my better moments I focus my attention here and now where it belongs
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