I was a regular blackout drinker. Today, I haven’t had a drink in close to six years. My sobriety date is a year less than that because cocaine took a bit longer to kick. I know exactly how you feel and I’m more than willing to talk to you if you want to. I had to take it day by day. I started attending meetings regularly and that helped me see that I’m not alone. I also got a buck book and started to review it; I didn’t read it until I got a sponsor. Get a home group whether online or in person. I can recommend some if you like. There is help on here if you really want it.
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I agree with all what you said. And I was a blackout drinker, it was terrible .
To Rick - if you are feeling physically bad, you need detox first. Go to ER and ask them help you, or go to rehab if you can. I was in a rehab once in my life - it was one of the best decisions in my life.
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Thank you everyone. I appreciate all the support here and help so far. Your willing to respond means a lot to me.
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Hang tough Rick you got this buddy 
I was drinking until I blacked out too. Horrible how this disease progresses if you let it. Don’t let it. I didn’t and am at 97 days and going strong with no thoughts of drinking again.
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Please share. I just added you
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I surrender to the program of recovery that works for me
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Good morning, Rick. It's a new day. I hope that you're doing and feeling better.
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Amen
Facr
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