Lost the perfect man for me , I was on autopilot downing white claw surges to counteract no sleep night before, and to rally to go to a neighborhood party , completely exhausted . The first time he goes to a party with me ever, and he is a shy guy . I didn’t Eat , didnt sleep, kept drinking 8% surges. I was ossified by the end of the night. Woke up black out. He dumped me. Worst day of my life and continued to be the worst time of my life. Can’t believe I did this. I love him very much . Getting sober . So embarrassed and Ashamed . I wish this didn’t happen. I just want him back and pray maybe that will happen when i am better . Was supposed to go to wedding with him and visa versa. We were growing so close. I broke it right when it was strong . So tragic . Don’t feel like putting the bat away anytime soon .
Welcome to rock bottom. Or at least, hope it is. Only one direction left. Up. Get plugged into a recovery program. This can be fixed. Just gonna take time and work now to stay clean. We can always repair the past when in sobriety. Well, most of the time we can. Hope you can find a new life now. It’s a good one when sober.
In utter defeat we surrenderto a solution. I to was a slave to drinking and loosing men. Like could not- not drink…. I found that drinking and drugging was just a SYMPTOM…. Like the core is where our malady lies. I pray you surrender and get in the solution. God redeems and restores….. it’s a process- not easy but Freedom is a result! Prayers:muscle:t3:
I think it's great u want to get sober, in my experience getting sober for other ppl didn't work I had to do it for myself sobriety is a selfish act In my experience.
Self destructive behavior… we have all been there. If you truly were getting close, I am betting he won’t give up that easy. It’s going to take time and effort, but the best thing you can do now is focus on you. Get YOU healthy. Don’t try to fix everything right away. Don’t just throw apologies out there. The steps are in order for a reason. I almost lost my family because of drinking and self destructive behaviors. It took months for them to trust me again. I had to show them I was changing. Show them I was doing the work to be a better man, father and husband. No one can say if it will work out or not, but the end result will be a better, healthier you no matter what.
Rock bottom for sure . I pray he is around to see me do this. The feelings of being unloveable, and the utter loneliness . This hurts so bad. I’m so used to being alone, I have drank to ease that pain for so long. I totally fucked up and was so delirious I didn’t realize it was happening. I hope he loves me enough to stay with me.
Miracles happen constantly when sober. Put sobriety first in all you do and life will be kind.
Big Book says “we got tight at exactly the wrong time”
Been there done that.
Cunning baffling and powerful.
I truly believe that when enough time passes and we get sober - the positive attributes and our best qualities will show more and people will see this about us and from there we can find healthy meaningful relationships with another person. It may not be this guy but it could be someone better whom you’ve never met yet.
Welcome home thank you for sharing this! I know it’s tough but you’re on your way.
I can relate to this 100%. Lost who I believe was the love of my life due to something exactly like this. Had no recollection of what happened. From having so much one day, close to nothing the next feeling so ashamed and empty barely having the strength to take care of myself from the depression. All I know is that we have to bounce back, we have to…be strong. We are here for you.
Agree
Sure you don’t want to hear this but time heals heartache. In the meantime build a recovery program that best works for you. If you truly work it I assure you you’ll find peace
What’s wrong with loving someone and being there for them while they get better and loving them. We are not monsters , we are humans worthy of love and forgiveness . I wouldn’t just leave. We were good. This never happened before in 14 months . I don’t know. Isn’t everyone worthy of love ? And second chances?
Exactly how I feel. I would never leave just like that or give up. I loved her *unconditionally. I loved the good, the bad, everything. We are worthy of love and deserve a chance to improve ourselves while tog. We are human...all I can think is they aren’t for us if they choose to give up on us. I’m still healing, but with every day that passes and the silence grows..stronger, so do I
Just get right and everything will fall into place
I’m so sorry Karen. I’m in the exact same boat. Exact. I
All we can do it get sober and hope for the best.
Kerrin, easier said than done while please try to not beat yourself up too much.
I had close to two years sober between 2014 and 2106.
One of my motivations was to sober up because I did not want to lose my partner, Kerrin.
Well. Turns out, we were not meant to be together-period. I know this hurts, especially as is very fresh sounds like.
Please get sober for Y O U, not to get him back…I have brought the following up before via Loosid. After a meeting during my period of sobriety—a woman told me that I might well need to accept that my partner at the time would not be a part of my sobriety.
Aside from an occasional “ I am proud of you “ from him…our relationship ended up being quite toxic. When I relapsed after close to two years of sobriety, instead of saying: it’s ok. You can get back on the sober train ( or something encouraging), he would say things like-“ why dont you just go out and drink “?
I know he was disappointed while S T I L L.
The point to my rambling is?
Yes. It hurts while right, do it for you, you, you. Go easy on yourself. You are certainly worthy of Love and you are completely worthy of remaining sober, Kerrin. Facts.
…uhmmm. Total typo above. I meant 2016 regarding sober time n o t 2106 while crud, would not that be interesting?
I ain’t that young folks. U h m.
Yeah. He drinks all day long on the weekends alone while busy in his yard or pool. I’ve been there with him . He’s a shy guy but he drinks too, just alone, oh and tripped out on acid alone with his dogs in his yard in the winter . I never judged him ever. He was ruthlessly angry and harsh and said alot of mean untrue and viscious things to me. I know i say he was the perfect man for me, but that’s because despite his flaws, I would never leave him. Maybe I will find a kinder man when I stay sober for a while . We all deserve kindness.