I keep messing up and this time I am at my wits end. I am so aggravated with my actions. It’s like I do well and then fall off horribly. I mean I never got to the point where I didn’t have a job or place to live but heck I don’t want it to get there either. I can’t talk to anyone really about it and NA meetings don’t work for me.
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I know it’s hard took me a long time to get off. What substance is your #1 go to ? If u don’t mind me asking. For me it was opiates/herione/fent
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Its stupid it’s Crack Cocaine
I been there and had troubles with it. Would go for days then be so depressed. I flipped my car from being up all nite then took G to come down I came down I passed out while driving
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That’s more of a mental addiction, opiates is physical it’s pure evil
Both are two strong drugs
I know what you're talking about. I'm in the middle of a meth and marijuana relapse after being sober for 5 months. My previous sobriety record was 51 days. I tripled that! So I wonder how long I'll make it next time? 8 months? A year? The point is as long as I'm trying to pick myself up each time I fall, maybe I'm not so suicidal after all.
Are you having trouble stopping or did u relapse?
Do you feel each time you fall and get back up it takes a little piece of you ?
Surrender to recovery. When we stop the foolish notion that we can do this ourselves, that’s when the light begins to shine. Surrender to a program, Surrender that you do not have all the answers, and surrender that you probably need in person support from other addicts just like you.
I was addicted to crack also. I thought I could do it myself also. Eventually I did lose the job, the marriage, and a tremendous amount of money. It wasn’t until I surrendered to NA, And worked the 12 steps that the miracle happened. That drug is no joke. The recidivism rate is well over 90%. Don’t beat yourself on relapsing, but just don’t give up. Please go to NA, CA, CMA - Anything to avoid facing the DA.
Is there a reason why you feel you can’t talk to anyone about the “it”??
Have you friend requested anyone on this app. And if you have.. have you reached out to talk about the “it” ?
Im not sure what the “it” is but I’m willing to bet that there is plenty on this app that might.
In order to find out your most likely going to have to reach out🤗
We do recover and just do happen to be part of that we 
I have been smoking weed and meth for over 2 weeks now, after being clean for 5 months. It's a relapse and I'm very down on myself about it. I know I can be stronger than this. But deep down I gave up on life a long time ago. So I will just pick up all the pieces all over again and hope for the best.
Look for something that will take you out of yourself.. learn self discipline and repeat it.. and then maybe you can open yourself up more.