Made a real connection at one of my meetings unfortunately

Recovery
#1

Made a real connection at one of my meetings unfortunately he's a male and I'm a female :pensive: so I'm a little worried about getting too close I do not want anything more than friendship.
Do you guys think it possible for guys and girls to be friends without any weird sexual tension getting in the way? Or should I let this friendship go?

He listens to me and lets me vent my struggles
And I do the same for him
So we are both getting what we need from each other
I just wish he was a girl ... It would be so much easier

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#2

Yes it is possible for guys and girls to be friends in recovery without any sexual interest. I’ve been sober for sometime and I many friends who are female. They also know that I’ve been married for a long time. I’m on this site to share my experience, strength and hope

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#3

Thanks Joe I appreciate that and I think it possible as well. I was very honest with him and told him I'm not ready or interested in dating until I forge my own pathway through recovery back into the real world and he was understanding and still wants to chat and support each other so I think it will be okay

He's taking me to a meeting on Monday so I'll know by then for sure if he really is okay just being my friend

Thanks for reading my post and sharing your opinion I appreciate the feedback

1 Like
#4

I think women and men should be able to talk and communicate, but you should not be in a relationship while in recovery for the first year not sure how long you have but again also set boundaries if you’re not wanting a relationship to somebody to talk to then set boundaries and stick to it

#5

Boundaries and respect :100::pray::sunglasses:

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#6

I think only you can really answer that. Personally, I’ve always said it’s best for women to connect with women and men with men in early sobriety — not because of rules, but because emotions are high and everything’s shifting. It’s all good growth, but if something beyond friendship happens and it doesn’t end well, it can hit your sobriety hard.

Once you’ve got a few years under your belt and done some inner work, it gets easier to have friendships. As long as both people are clear it’s just friendship and boundaries stay strong, it can definitely work.

2 Likes
#7

Most men want something in the end. I would make sure to clarify that in the long run you aren't interested in any kind of romantic relationship.

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#8

Certainly need to keep the lines clear upfront. But I’ve made plenty of female friends in AA. I value my sober sisters very much. But yeah there were some funky times. Best to be upfront about boundaries.

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#9

Concentrate on your recovery and focus on friendship instead of love. Time will fall in place in time. I been sober 5 years and still single. I can wait until the right person comes in my life. Hang in there and stay strong.

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#10

Thanks everyone I appreciate all the help

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