I have had this diagnosis for about 7 months now. I take prozac, Wellbutrin, birth control all once in the morning after breakfast. Also Serequel once in the morning then every 4 hours or as needed.
The serequel causes gnarly dreams that are almost nightmare ish. Im intrigued by these dreams tho. We’re am i ? Who am i ?
This one dream I had- It was the perspective of seeing from my own eyes. I was a doctor or nurse and was wearing a white lab coat and i was stuck in a metal walled door locked can’t get out bathroom but i would sit down on the toilet to try and calm myself cos i was freaked out cos like where am i and it was hot in there-but i would sit on the toilet seat and meditate. and i saw in my mind, (like another scene) ((i hope this makes sense))
It was an empty dessert for miles, and i was sitting on a twin bed and there was a fence around the perimeter, like a playground how it’s it’s a square and it’s fenced in… and the twin mattress is in corner like outside what looks to be a never ending sand and dust for miles.
OKAY NOW- if your still following -
It was me and my friend Jae sitting on the mattress, she was smoking ercs getting real messy, i could see in her face how high she was, how good she felt….
and the a school bus drives up out of nowhere and people come piling off the bus and my friend Jae is giving hits to everyone and im trying to get high and I can not. Im trying so hard but it’s just out of reach.
I have had similar dreams, i’ll be in a mall and there’s so many eyes and people around and im just trying to get high but i can’t. I can’t because it’s just out of reach….
I took a break from this app because I started using wax pens again. I craved to get high, and even while i was standing in the dispo line, my stomach told me otherwise. Anxiety of course, yet i still went thru with the purchase.
I feel like a bad person because my dad was like your smoking- and i was like yah and he was like stop so i gave him my wax pen…..
but then i got sick and was vomiting for 2 days until i found a used cart in my closet and i was able to feel strong enough to drive so i told my parents some lie of where i was going and went and bought a pen/ battery so i could use my cart. I was just gonna use it so i wasn’t sick ! I was in extreme pain. I deserve it.
and then a week went by and he’s like i can tell your still smoking wtff you still have something ??? so i gave that to him
and the next day went out to the dispo and bought 2 more carts.
Im horrible.
I can’t stop. I can’t control myself.
Sometimes, i wish it would all end.
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It happens to the best of us TWO. Hang in there and keep trying.
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I also have mental Illness. I’ve been on several meds most of my life. Your not alone. In the big book it says a whole chapter could be written about people like us. Man do I wish someone would write that chapter
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i appreciate your words. it’s nice to know people can relate
You are a most wonderful person. Make a difference!!
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Dreams are just our brains getting rid of the junk.
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