Man it exactly the same except worse.
Don’t stop trying Joshua - one day it will stick ! I must have started over 1000 times (not to make you feel worse but it takes as long as it takes) - learn from each experience!
I went to treatment 14 times and I know how hard it is each time I relapsed but the wonderful thing about others like us is they all understand and don't judge. All we want for you is to be happy.Forgiving yourself is a big step. Starting over no matter how many times takes a strong man you can do this.