I got invited to ride on a mardi gras float with family for the first time tomorrow but I'm terrified I'm gonna end up drinking and in terrified of what they'll think if I do/don't.
I'm already struggling really bad with childhood trauma realizations that are playing a part in my adulthood everyday life and idk how to give up to God. Any of it.
Well, I know the feeling of what people and family will think if I don’t drink. It was very strange at first. But I knew how I was while drinking, and that was worse. Assuming they’ll love ya and have fun with you if you’re not. I think you’ll be surprised. Enjoy if you go, and enjoy if you don’t 
If it’s stressing you out and you think it could lead to drinking then I suggest you pass. 
Mock tails are the way to go. Nobody has to know that there is no poison in your drink. At the end of the day you will be so happy!!!
Sending you strength to do what's right for you
if it's too difficult then give yourself grace and the support you deserve to not get pulled back in, and think about how good you'll feel waking up sober the next day. We are here for you if you need anything 
"I forgive myself for my past"
"Today I am in control"
"Today I do not need alcohol I'm my life"
Repeat, repeat and repeat again if those thoughts go away. You are more powerful than you believe..