This article really hit home for me. It is something we all need to be talking about-what real masculinity means,…and for me, it’s not power, image or money. I put on my dating profile “mental health is sexier than money or muscles,”…and I mean it. When I attend AA meetings, it’s almost all white middle-aged guys that have probably been taught to be “tough,”…not given any coping or communication skills...not shown vulnerability by their parents. I, myself, often go into the four F’s of fleeing, freezing, fighting or fawning to avoid FEELINGS. I, too, numb out to avoid feelings. I have felt flooded…overwhelmed. I grew up in a house where there was shaming, blaming, ignoring, gaslighting, teasing, minimizing, scapegoating, etc. all to avoid feelings and vulnerability. It’s all FEAR.
I worry about our young men mostly. I can only change me (and help my son). But I thought of us all and how we got here. If you message me, I can send the zipped pdf file. I took screenshots….
The Post Most: A suicide-attempt survivor takes on toxic masculinity
This was totally me. Men don’t cry, men don’t ask for help, men drink beer and whiskey and do manual labor…women are there for one reason…blah blah blah…so thankful I found who I am now: I was a complete d bag drinking.
Guilty as charged lol. I mean I’m in my 50’s and I attend AA meetings. I also grew up in a home that sounds eerily similar to the one you described. That being said, I’m working really hard to rewire all of these toxic characteristics. I survived my home, and thrived on the playground and in the frat house. I learned to wear a mask and live a double life from a very young age. It worked very well at times, but eventually this way of thinking only contributed to destroying me. I have worked very hard to rewire my brain. It takes a ton of strength to be vulnerable. I literally have to pray for the strength, and be mindful of it thru out the day. It’s amazing how many men at the AA meetings appreciate my shares. I’ve made some really good friends thanks to sharing my experiences. I haven’t read the article yet, but I can tell you it takes a lot of practice. It’s part of my daily recovery routine. If I’m not mindful of it, I can slip the mask back on in a heartbeat. You mention that you fear for the mental health of young men. Funny you should mention this. It is my first born who doesn’t identify with a gender that has helped motivate my growth. I’ve learned so much from talking and listening to him/they. It definitely takes an open mind and a desire to change. Thanks for sharing 
The shoe fits 
great share!!
Awesome!! That’s great! Yes, this generation is more open. And the younger they are, hopefully more willing to change.