Janie,
You can do this, I got separated from my ex wife 3 days before I got sober and we just finalized the divorce in December, we were married 8 years and together for 12 1/2 years. It is hard and you can do this! Please be strong for yourself, I know the pain your going through and drinking or using is only going to make things worse!
Ben
I can totally relate. I met a woman in a bar around 85. We were married a short time later. Every time I tried to do something about my drinking, she seemed to pull the other direction. It eventually ended up in a divorce in 92.
And yes, she found a new drinking partner.
I wasn't so Innocent either. While I was going to meetings, I met a woman in the program that I shacked up with for about 6 years. They were 6 of the most miserable years of my life.
My life got to be the way it did because of decisions I made that were based on self.
Anyway that's the short version and I thought I would share.
Completely understand. My girl had had it with me and kicked me out ( while we were living in Costa Rica no less...!) that was the beginning of my bottom. 4 years later we're still together and doing better than we ever have. My point is, at some point you just have to do and take care of you and let the rest of the world take care of it self for a bit. I had to pull my head out and clean myself up. It took her 6 months to even talk to me. Promises and Apologies were worn out. I had to live the sober life and be my best self before anything for better. Don't use a relationship hairball as a pre qualification to a relapse. Use it as "I'm still working on me and that's just fine"! If he was worth his salt, he will see the change.
Pure and simple I don't care if your 1 day sober or 100 yrs sober. Nothing is worth picking up period
Great advice Scott