So I skipped out on my usual meeting this evening. I’m newly sober so I know it’s important for me to go as often as possible, but I work two jobs and have a family. I don’t know why I’m feeling some sort of guilt. Maybe it’s bc ppl keep telling me that daily meetings are vital. I slept and caught up on my show this evening instead of going to the meeting, and I really don’t want to feel guilty about it, bleh. I’m definitely going back and plan for it to be often..just needed a self care break from everything.
Zoom meetings help also. As they say, meeting makers make it. Keep doing your best. One day is all that matters.
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I have taken a break from meetings before.. there is no shame in doing it. Sometimes we just need some time to let our brains catch up to what’s all happening. As long as it doesn’t become all the time, or an excuse to not go… you will be fine. Don’t fret about it.
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Thanks! It’s what I needed and wanted to hear. Finding that balance is definitely an immediate goal. I’m kinda feeling some pressure from my sponsor and I know she means well, but I just have to be honest with her and let her know this is my journey and the balance is a necessity to it. If I can’t or do t want to go for a day of the week (after working 60 hours a week), then I’m okay with that. Like I said, I really do enjoy the meetings and I get A LOT from them..but I can’t physically dwindle myself down too thin
Ig balance is needed with everything lol. Thanks for the talk!
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I attend two face to face meetings that I love on my days off (Saturday and Sunday). During the work week I engage in a 24 hour international Zoom meeting that I love.
But I don’t attend face to face meetings during the work week. By the time I get home during the work week, do the chores necessary to keep my life functioning I am freaking tired and it’s bed time!
Nothing to feel guilty about. Remember your sponsors only job is to help you work the steps. Not run your life.
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Correct. Balance is even needed with AA. Unfortunately some members become very militant and almost cultic. Nothing in the big book says you have to attend a face to face meeting everyday. The goal of sobriety is to create a balanced life not trade the addiction to a substance to an addiction to a program or it’s meetings.
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If going to meetings keeps you sober, and taking breaks from meetings helps you continue to go to meetings, then it seems you should be guilt free. Whatever you do, stay away from alcohol. Stay completely away from places that serve it and people who drink it. The voice in your head might say "a few drinks won't hurt". Nope. "I can control how many drinks I have". Nope. Its lies. Just stay home, eat, drink coffee, smoke or vape, watch movies, play games, plan your life, listen to comedy, go for a walk, pray, think about things, learn about things. There is so much you can do besides drinking. People that drink are lost and afraid souls that can't cope with life as it is. You are better than that, obviously. The fact that you are here means you have leveled up. Keep up the good work and be proud of yourself!
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Meetings are only vital if they're not also a source of guilt. I tried AA for two weeks. It wasn't for me. If your only guilt in life is thinking that you're "sobering" wrong because you missed a meeting, then I'd say shift focus or perspective. Meetings are intended to merely be a tool. You're the tool box though. If you didn't make the meeting but still managed to stay sober today, don't best yourself up because you're still winning!
We get from recovery what we put into it. There's no gold stars or platinum club for those who go to meetings. There's no accelerated or advanced sobriety for people who sit through eight meetings a day. None of that. It's just a tool. A chance to sort issues out with like minded people. But make no mistake, you can still get and stay sober and find happiness without them. I'm eight and a half years in the clear and haven't been to a meeting since April of 2014. Don't be so hard on yourself. Guilt is a fast track back to the bottle and it would be an awkward realization that the guilt of not going to a meeting was the sole source of driving you back to drinking. You got this.
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