Meh! 😢 feeling lost

I’ve been trying to stop drinking for awhile now. I’ll do ok for a brief time then I slip. I’ve tried AA meetings….they just make it worse. I’ll drink and then I hate myself for it.
I’m a trans woman who started hormones on Valentine’s Day…..so I’m about 3 months in. My family is very unaccepting and people at work say they are accepting and supportive but I feel they are trying to run me off because they can’t fire me technically. Star employee…..given multiple raises and bonuses….so work ethic isn’t an issue. I’m in Alabama though. I wish I could get a sponsor of sorts without the AA meeting stuff. If I had someone to call or message when I want to drink….and they could help detour me. I want to quit completely sooo bad! I just don’t know what to do.

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Give yourself a break, you have a lot going on. I'd look o to smart recovery or the 'easy way's for a fresh perspective on your goals. The easy way is working for me, and I'm confident it will last.

I haven’t heard of it.

Illustrates that the benefits we have perceived from alcohol are all illusions. Then we're not fighting ourselves trying to weigh good and bad.

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Have any resources I could read?

https://www.googleadservices.com/pagead/aclk?sa=L&ai=DChcSEwitk8uPuen-AhWYbW8EHeluAjgYABAJGgJqZg&ohost=www.google.com&cid=CAASJORofVMngJeD_9EEPKbD-Di-gKi6I1cKtP-hLs1xE43py19DZw&sig=AOD64_3Sl2a9Ar_zgG7BnmnBto-6iRAvBA&ctype=5&q=&ved=2ahUKEwjKv8GPuen-AhWjlWoFHXOfAbkQwg8oAHoECAMQEg&adurl=

Thank you! I can actually get the audio book!!! So cool!

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Thank you for this!! Started listening while I’m at work! Really enjoying it! On chapter 4

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Good to see you reaching out for help! It takes a lot of courage to do so. There are plenty of people that want to support you and will accept you. Keep your focus on these good people.

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