I’ve been relapsing on and off for about a year, ever since having a hysterectomy. I never got the chance to have kids. Every time I go back to the rooms I feel judged and “you shouldn’t have drank!” Well. Thanks. Even by some of the women. I feel misunderstood because my grief is difficult to articulate.
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I understand
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Hi Courtney, Grieving any loss is really hard. It is really easy to pick a bottle or pill for temporary fix. That’s what I did. I have learned that it is ok to be sad, to hurt, to be angry, to feel lonely. It takes time, I always hated when people told me that. I thought people were tired of hearing me cry about my divorce but that’s the same people that helped me get through it sober. Stay strong and reach out. You will find your people, and they will understand.
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Emotional sobriety is crucial! I don’t worry about people judging me or what anyone thinks. I stopped judging others too. I don’t judge myself harshly either. Since that, I’ve found inner peace, which is emotional sobriety for me.
I realized that we all have issues and we are all just trying to feel ok. That’s why I drank so much. But it stopped working.
Real step work, service and meditation helped and continues to work for me to maintain emotional sobriety and not use. I hope this helps🙏
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I'm sorry you're feeling judged, and that not having kids is weighing on you. You can still as a healed and well adult, foster and/or adopt and share love with a child who needs it. That's something I'm going to look into once I have my house remodeled and a couple years clean. I just want to know for sure that I won't slip up again first.
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We sometimes overestimate how others perceive us.
Feeling judged for drinking again in a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous makes no sense. That’s what we do as alcoholics, drink. The miracle is when we don’t drink one day at a time. 
It’s going to be ok, and remember rule 62.
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I get what you’re saying. I know I felt that way also in some of the women’s meetings I went to also.
Because I was so desperate to finally get sober, I just kept going to different meetings till I finally found some that I was comfortable. Sometimes it is at a mixed meeting, I found my sponsor from when I was inspired by the shares of women that had what I wanted.
Trust you will find it.
Don’t give up until you get the miracle you deserve. Don’t give up until you get it
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6 years ago, I had a hysterectomy and relapsed. For me, I've noticed without fail, if I take any opioid medication, I will relapse. It triggers something in my brain. I haven't relapsed since 2016. Dr. Offered me a codeine cough syrup, I explained my relapse history, so now we know.
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I know you have nieces or nephews!! That can replace you not being able to have children!! There are children in homes that probably love to be adopted!! There are some children around you that probably could use some extra love beautiful!! You are going to be ok!!
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I made sure not to get any opioids, thankfully. I’m sorry that was your experience, thank you for sharing.
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You should never feel judged. Find another meeting. Drinking isn’t going to help your situation you only masking your pain. Please get yourself a recovery team. A sponsor you trust and can confide in. Nothing absolutely nothing is worth drinking and dying because of it. I witnessed it first hand it suc&ed. Brutal. Please if you want to private message me feel free to do so. Live is worth living. 
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I refuse to relay some of the well meaning while uh, N O T helpful words which some have relayed.
To assume that someone wants to adopt ( I am pro-adoption while that does not mean that others are / it may not feel like an option for some women )…and-or suggest other alternatives which may not feel like an option, especially(!)…when moving through grief…I find some of these comments to be insensitive…even if the person is trying to mean well and be of help.
It sucks - going through what you shared with us.
I feel your heartache.
Sending you hugs from this distance.
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I understand people mean well with the adoption comments… but yeah. It’s one of those “too soon” things.
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Yes.
I was surprised by particular comments, Courtney.
People mean well…while the opposite effect can take place.
Not a single one of us can ever know what you must be feeling-going through.
Sometimes people say, relay things-which uh, do not even make sense.
So many humans need to say less and listen more.
…( continued )…
This is an app so we are obviously not face to face…while ( some ) people need to think before sharing potentially unhelpful relayments which may exacerbate painful realities.
I really wish that I could give you a hug, Courtney.
Hope that you are taking care of yourself.
