More lately than ever, I’ve been really struggling with dealing with my past family which passed away and I just don’t know what to do and who to reach out to; Because we’re i live doctors Just Don’t Care. DONT get me wrong I am still sober my sobriety date is: 02/02/2019…. & my 4~ years is coming up I’m happy and proud of myself for this! But; I’ve really been tearing my mind apart with my mental health issues and just not knowing if I can continue doing this anymore and I’m not talking about sobriety! I just can’t believe since becoming sober- until now it’s been a mental struggle just dealing with how I hurt my family, friends and let my children down and now my baby is going on 19 January 9th & she’s a struggling addict in active addiction and I feel so bad that I have let her down and if my life would of been different, My daughter would of ended up becoming the nurse she once dreamed of. I miss having my family and I’ve become a total loner but I feel like this keeps me and my sobriety safe!! If I can please just have some support on what works for my other fellow recovering addicts?! Because I’m at the point I don’t even have patience and my medication’s I take for my mental health and hormones as a 35 year old woman just isn’t working anymore. Thank You god bless.
Congratulations on your 4 yrs first of all. And I feel the same way! I look at how diff my boys are they are 14&25. I fucked the older one up bad as a result of my drinking/environment. So much so I'm trying to learn from it with my younger one. Being more patient, moving to a better neighborhood/school district and most importantly my new found sobriety. You have no idea how much I wish I could do things different. Or be different. Knowing what I know now. I created trauma. I'm the trauma. I've seen trauma.. It's almost eating me alive. But all I can do..is do better, be better! Life is hard. I don't have parents, fiance died, brother passed away. Suicidal son. No friends. Like who is gonna be there for me? I definitely live my life day to day. That kinda helps with my anxiety also. I try not to think about the future or past. Or beat myself up too bad. All I can do is control today. Don't give up.
Thank You 
so much!
Congrats on 4 years! It's quite commendable all things considered 
! You should be proud of yourself for bending and not breaking; falling but picking yourself back up to do another day! I can't help but wonder, during all that time, has forgiveness ever crossed the mind? The actual act of forgiving yourself? Once that has truly been done, you can be at peace with those thoughts clouding your mind... just a thought for your thoughts 
I tooooo understand the concept of screwing my kids lives up, thankfully they’ve decided to do different than their parents(divorced now) forgiving ourselves is a must, we’re not that person anymore. 4 years that’s freaking awesome 
. Helping others less fortunate than me helps, once a day buy a meal for someone. Once a week sponsor a kids meals for the week.