Get outta Dodge
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You need sober friends, and you will make them if you start going to aaā¦they do lots of activities beyond just the meetings and you will meet real supports that will be there for you and will even go to events with you if you donāt feel comfortable being around alcohol aloneā¦it will open up a new world for you if youāre open to it, good luck 
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Wow, youāre like the female version of me. We can do this. Stay strong sis 
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AA is not religious. AA asks me to accept that there is a power bigger than me out there. AA just basically makes me admit that I am not in control of everything. But there is something bigger out there which we can use to not drink. They use the word āgodā¦ as you understand himā. It is not based on Christianity or Islam or Judaism or Hinduism or Scientology. As sure as I am that 2 is greater than 1, I am sure science is more powerful than I am.
So the group can be your higher power. Or science. Or time. The ocean. The moon. Anything bigger than you.
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Addy,
As an alcoholic I donāt need an excuse to drink. I am living thru the worst 2 months of my entire life right now. However, I know, believe and remember that I am powerless over alcohol. Having a drink improves nothing. Get to lots of AA meetings. Call your AA central office. Be of service at the local AA club. Show up early, make coffee, help clean up. Whatever involves you in AA. In working the steps I was willing to do whatever it took to recover from alcoholism. This is vital to sobriety.
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I felt when you said you don't have any real friends. It gets confusing
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You need community , accountability and support ! These things are crucial . I hope you find other sober like minded people. You have put yourselves around those kinds of people though . Womanās AA or meet up groups are amazing for this !
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2 thoughts:
- Why are you with this guy? It seems he isnāt putting any effort, love, or attention.
- I know itās been said here but go to meetings. I met a lot of friends there. Choose a few to check in with daily no matter what. Even if just a text message. Plan a regular weekly lunch or outing with a group of them and then a weekly individual coffee/walk/etc. with each of them. That should give you 4-5 regular friend connections outside of the meetings, meeting time for fellowship, and daily contact. I had to put myself out of the comfort zone for this type of thing and still working on it but itās worth it!
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Amy, your first question I am asking myself more and more often. I already know he's not the one so honestly, I'm not sure.
I havenāt had anyone in my life for years. I couldnāt imagine trying to get sober with such a weight around my neck.
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I am also reminded by my sponsor that my HP is not up in the sky moving chess pieces around to see what I can do. It says in the BB that āGod gave us brains to useā. That means that I have free will to do or not do as I decide. Life happens, my thinking and actions are my own.
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I feel you on everything 
!! -but the boyfriend-Iād loose him 
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Boredom is the worst. Find some network close by. I just started doing a coloring night at the library. Great way to interact in a great atmosphere. Look at book clubs or outdoor. You seem really adventurous and itās a shame you donāt have the couple support. It might be time to cut losses and find what you need
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Addy, you remember the old cartoons that had an angel on 1 shoulder and a devil on the other? Invariably the character listens to the devil character first, then learns their lesson and begins listening to the angel character.
The devil character is my addiction. Itāll tell me anything to protect itself. It kept me out of AA for 20 years, telling me I could do it myself. And all the while, the angel character patiently reminded me that millions of people got sober in programs like AA.
I am not religious. So for me those 2 voices are my addiction (in my head) and my conscience/compass (in my gut). Iāve learned to trust my gut when my mind goes a little screwy.
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Trust your gut.
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That is something I am learning to do more and more of. I know my gut never lies.
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Brilliant analogy! Totally screenshot this lol. If youāve ever read my nonsense regarding my higher power, this totally fits right in. The Angel is my HP. Itās been inside of me all the time. I just need to work the program to turn down the volume of the devil (my ego and self will), while increasing the volume of the Angel.
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You see it .good for you.!!!!!!!.