I am in my 17th institution in 10 yrs and I’m 5 weeks from graduating rehab and I just feel like time is running out. Doubting myself that I will succeed and worrying I will end up back on this merry go round. 
Drop the rock.
Turn that negative thinking into a positive reverse psychology urself
Try thinking positive. Get to meetings build you sober community, read living sober, read the big book, get a recovery counselor, recovery coach. You need support. This is hard on your own. But stop telling yourself it won’t work. Or it WON’T. BELIEVE YOU CAN DO IT.
Turn that stinking thinking around and drop the bat. You are worth it!!! I will pray for you, sending hugs your way.You got this!!!
Figure out your why for recovery. At the end of the day, we have a purpose. And that grit to succeeed regardless of what it looks like. To just keep doing the next right thing. That is the difference between relapse and recovery. So regardless of what it look like..keep doing the next right thing. And point your steps toward your purpose. You'll get there.