i hit my 500 day mark yesterday, and to say it’s a miracle i have made it this far is beyond an understatement. there has been multiple times when i never thought id see months, weeks or even days of sobriety. to see a year was impossible for me at one point. to see a life worth living was unimaginable. i hated my life. i hated everyone and everything in it. i hated every single thing about myself. i wanted to die, but didnt have the b*lls to take my pain away - or what i thought wouldve solved my problem - & today i am so grateful for that. im not perfect, my recovery has a long way to go to become solid, but i am a lot further than i ever imagined and that is the beautiful thing about recovery. it doesnt have to be perfect. all i have to do is be honest, open minded, and willing to tackle whatever comes my way and always keep in the forefront of my mind where mind altering substances take me.
i am so grateful to have the choice today. to get to determine where i go in life or how it turns out (to an extent)
i thank god every single day
