As I begin dinner and sit in meditation and await my dinner to simmer. I began to miss my kids that once lived here in this home with me. When I got clean and sober I lost everything to my acholii and my addiction. My children were adopted the ex left and never returned. It has been 6 years now to the Dre of when my kids were removed from my custody. They never returned home. I have 13 months into this recovery I have gained so much and have the opportunity to focus on what I have learned from my past. I have a completely different life now and I can’t seem to ever forget the family unity I once had the relationship that was good at one point in my life. The beautiful thing is that I am evolving and have found comfort in this relationship within myself the self love the way to Cary on and thrive in surving. Yet it still hurts when I come home make dinner for only myself and wake to prepare breakfast for only myself and throughout the day I take care only myself.
These feelings and emotions I feel and not react nor do I drink or take a pill or smoke or anything. I feel this loneliness and longing and it passes. I miss my family so dang much. What would I give to fix what is wrong. I get through this it’s all I know how to do. I just want my kids back. I wil start feeling sorry for myself, show how grateful to be apart of this process. As I struggle I grow with the insight to what I want to become and those I want to surround myself by.
