Mom,
I was there when the Lord took you to heaven in the sky,
The day before I was preparing myself to know when you were going to die,
One minute I was outside sitting next to a fire,
I sang I chant that I shouldn’t have because moments later everyone went haywire,
We all went crazy and we lost it at 2 in the morning,
Little did I know that right now it’s past 3 am and I’m still mourning,
I mourn for you mom deep from my heart,
I haven’t wrote a poem for you in a while sometimes I don’t know where to start,
I think about you so much,
I miss your voice, your laugh, I miss your touch,
I love you mom and I miss you,
Mom I’m sorry for last Christmas and I dissed you,
I was lost and I was sensitive about my life,
I was focused on myself my problems and I held up my pride,
I put myself with in those lines,
And mom you knew I always wanted to sing but instead I became a poet to bust down some rhymes,
It hurts me that I can’t read you this and hear what you have to say,
I’m still your fragile son that has a hard time to get on his knees and pray,
Mom you were my queen, my best friend you were my everything,
I wasn’t there for your funeral because I was detoxing from alcohol and drugs,
I’m sorry mom but I know I lost it all and right now I can really use a hug,
Forget the drugs forget the high,
You’re someone I should have held close before you died,
I’m sorry I fell into temptation and I couldn’t run away,
You always told me that I was stuck in drugs and the pain,
But you prayed for me to change,
You made me promise on your death bed that I stop my addictions,
Here I am now about 39 days sober but I still feel afflicted,
Who do I call now when I can’t call you?
Who do I call and let them know how my day went and how my week went through?
Who do I call now?
Who do I let know when I’m struggling and I feel like I wanna fall out?
I know you’re here in the spirit,
But there’s no one here physically that can hear me and it’s hard to bare it,
All I can do is take it day by day mom,
I miss you so much I can’t look up a word in the dictionary to even express it,
But I don’t wanna stress it,
I wanna tell you that I miss you, I love you,
Let the King of the heavens take care of you and I know He’s above you,
And you’re above me,
That’s why you will be the queen of my heaven cause you have always loved me.
The day you died I lost it and I decided to get high and from there I realized I had to come back down south,
I didn’t go to your funeral out of respect and honor to make you proud,
Promise you that I’d be sober,
I haven’t given up mom soon my life one day will be over,
Only in Gods time,
But for now I’m getting myself right,
For me and my kids,
I don’t want to walk back to my old life in the street of sin,
You are the reason why I haven’t given up now that I’m sober again,
I know you had faith in me and I can feel it,
Mom you were a gangsta and one of the realest,
I love you Mom.
