More about Triggers
I used to think that being able to avoid my triggers would be an indicator of successful recovery. I have since learned that true healing is more about recognizing my triggers, moving through them, and ending up with a different outcome.
For example, I still get triggered when I think that somebody is angry with me. In the past, I would just tell myself that I'm not responsible for other people's feelings and that I should move on. The first part of that last sentence is true. But I rarely was able to ignore other people's anger and move on.
Today, when I feel, suspect, or know that someone is angry with me, I work through it. I start by pondering whether I have done something that deserved their anger, and if the answer is yes, I try to correct or make amends for it.
But as importantly - or even more importantly - I have a little chat with my inner child and remind her that people can get angry with me, and it doesn't mean they will abandon me. I tell myself that over and over until it feels true. And then I can move on.
Triggers lose power when we work through them.