Am I a terrible friend to not be attending my best friends bachelorette? It’s out of state and I won’t even have my own room to escape to. I feel bad because I was able to go to my other gfs after only a year sober but she was pregnant and the whole thing was very low key and I was aware of the whole itinerary ahead of time.
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I don't think so if it's at a bar, club , or anything with shite tons of alcohol everywhere. Especially, if you don't even have a room for respite. I vote negatory, I've not gone to a bachelor party pretty much for the same reason. If they are truely friends, they will understand.
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You’re sobriety is more important and some normies don’t understand what we go thru. I know it’s hard but try not to feel so bad because you know YOU and you’re doing the right thing for YOU
Thank you Derek It really does help to know you’ve had similar experience and have also said no. I do think she will understand but a part of me feels like a bad friend.
Thank you Luis! I needed to hear this because I do feel like my gfs don’t really understand the extent of it sometime and that makes me feel like a bad friend
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Well hate to be the bearer of bad news: it did negatively impact our friendship, I think (the wife wasn't my biggest fan either, so not positive on that). But it's immaterial,as Luis said, your sobriety is tantamount. If the environment puts that at risk it's a no go. I still wouldn't go to that bachelor party even knowing what I know now.
Strength and Serenity to ya
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You are not the bad person. You are smart and if it is brought up simply explain you didn't want anyone to change themselves or the plans or the activities for you. Should be a non issue.
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no you identified your limit and hopefully she understands
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Thank you guys. I spoke with her and she was very understanding. She even mentioned probably feeling a little bad with me being there because she wants it to be rowdy. Weird compromises in recovery. Best decision for your life but sometimes leaves me feeling like I’m missing out. 
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My friend just had hers last Monday! I didn't go...I knew that if I did I'd probably end up drinking..
I always end up drinking when I don't put myself/sobriety 1st. That's me tho...I don't feel bad for doing the right thing for myself even tho it was hard at the time. I have no regrets for not going!
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