My boyfriend barely drinks and has never had an issue with alcohol, he can go out with the boys and have a beer or two and is able to limit himself. I have never once seen him "drunk". Is it too much to ask him to not drink at all? I don't want to make him feel like he can't have a beer with his friends of he wants to. Thoughts?
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@kbradford120128 As I said, no need to "lay off" when he barely drinks. When he does he only has a beer or two. I'm the one with the issue, NOT him. I haven't felt the need to even say anything to him about any of this as I'm doing this for me and no one else. Looking for thoughts and experiences. NOT "know it all" judgements or condescending comments. Thanks. 
I don't think he was being condescending at all, it's hard truth in there. If you really have a problem and he really supports you, he shouldn't have a problem "laying off" for a bit, especially you being so early in it like me. I had 5 years before this relapse and in the beginning of then and now my wife doesn't drink to help support me in my early recovery. There will be a time when it won't bother you, hopefully, to be around others drinking. I was there, just stopped working my program because I got complacent. Even my coworkers know I'm in recovery and when they find themselves talking about going out and I'm around they apologize (even though they don't have to) out of respect and support. Keep your head up, ask him, and don't be like me and pick the one "offensive" thing out of someone's message and focus on that lol. You got this!
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I would suggest not drinking in front of you. If heâs out with the boys I think thatâs a little different. As long as heâs not coming home noticeably drunk around you. Just my two cents as a dude.
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He definitely insinuated that I'm going to fail because I date someone who has a beer now and then. All I was saying is I don't need that negativity. I know I got this and I'm looking for support, not to be questioned on what I am or am not thinking of accepting.
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I appreciate 2 cents. I think it's perfectly acceptable to be friends with and have people in your life who drink, whether I choose to do so or not. 
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I didn't get that at all from his reply, I'm sorry. I got that he was implying that you are on day one and not asking questions about you and your recovery, even though your question was def related to your recovery. I could be wrong but that is just how I took it. And to be honest, you are asking advice and questions from absolute strangers on a social media platform, which we know people have free speech and some have no filter. There will always be negative in the world or else there'd be no positive. Just block out the negativity and move on. Don't let it get to you if it is. If I hinge my sobriety or happiness off of others around me and am not comfortable or confident in myself I will fail every time. But there is a balance because we are broken and can't go at it alone. God bless
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In my experience with this, I was like you. My ex-wife didnât drink often and never over drank. What I realized was that drinking with her was a bonding moment for me. So we both decided not to do it. Although, she still drank with friends outside of my presence, she never showed up to spend time with me intoxicated. So you need to ask yourself a question. Can you tell when he has been drinking, even a little, abd does that trigger you to make you want to drink? If the answer is no, he can keep to the normal schedule. If the answer is yes, have a heart to heart with him and see if he is willing to alter his norm until you get stronger in your sobriety. I hope this helps. Awesome share! I wish you both all the luck in the world. Happy Friday.
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I would have a chat with him and see just how far he is willing to go to support your journey. Some partners are willing to go the journey as well, some are not. See how he feels and let that determine your thoughts.
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I can be around people when they are drinking and Iâm fine. I look at it like that would be good if I could handle like them but I canât so screw it. Get me a pelligrino
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Unless you can hear his beer say âdrink meâ in your mind I would learn to tolerate it. He tolerates you. Just sayin
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You will never know if you donât talk to him! Just try it and be nice about it thatâs all. If he truly cares he will be willing to do what helps you until you are in a better mindset and are comfortable with your sobriety. Good luck:)
Everyoneâs different, but I definitely feel he shouldnât be putting that risk factor around you in the first place. Personally I donât even associate with anyone who drinks and goes out all the time. If thatâs what they want, I donât have to be apart of itâŠ. But I understand the awkwardness that sometimes goes in hand with those situations. Youâre not alone! But to me what it comes down to is a respect factor. As long as he is not bringing alcohol in the house and doing around you, but he should definitely have higher regards to your situation and feelings. This is a tough one, but reading your comment above where you mentioned him saying he thinks youâre going to fail your sobriety because youâre with someone who drinks really concerns me. Itâs like saying âHey, Iâm gonna drink and do what I wanna do, & you are gonna fail because of my influenceâ and to me sounds like a lack of faith in you. I would be having a real conversation about that one.
If it makes you uncomfortable, say so. Your sobriety is so important & youâve worked hard to get to where you are.
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Itâs soooo clichĂ© but we are all on our own Journey- we all have similarities in the fact that we have or are questioning a problem with one substance or another & most importantly, we are here bc we want to be the best version of ourselves.. We all have different triggers, non-negotiable, boundaries, etc. With that being said, we can all offer advice from our own experiences but reading/hearing what you wrote sounds like you do not feel comfortable or strong enough right now for your boyfriend to drink around you.. That is aaammmazing that you realized it for yourself, acknowledged it, and are now asking for advice from your support group! Regardless of what ppl suggest you have to look deep inside yourself and ask of you can or can not accept him drinking around you right now and then have the open & honest conversation. Also, no one here knows the seriousness of your relationship and your comfort level to discuss any topic, let alone a very uncomfortable one even in the most secure relationship. I appreciate this platform sooooo much bc I am learning a lot and it has given me a new sense of hope but I will never take one persons advice or give a sold answer to someoneâs question. At the end of the day you have to look deep inside yourself and figure out the things I mentioned above.. What are you boundaries & what are you comfortable doing? Hopefully they are in line with your goals for yourself wanting to get better 
(late night ramble- hope I made sense 
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The comment regarding I will fail because I'm with some who drinks was about someone's else's comment on this post, not my boyfriends thoughts. Thanks for the advice!
I must have mis-read it! Sorry. I am glad that is not the case, but still, I hope everything works out & I wish you the best!
I think you should talk to him and tell him how you feel but telling people what they can and cannot do isnât fair and resentment could be held. I was in a similar situation and it was a test to my sobriety then I realized many people arenât addicts I canât ask everyone who crosses my path to change because of my issues and since alcohol is legal and socially accepted itâs a challenge you will have to deal with. If you talk to him about it maybe you can compromise or maybe he will even come up with it himself but personally I 100% donât recommend you tell him he âcanâtâ even just asking him might come across like that to him.
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Your the alcoholic not him.go to meetings it will help you.we canât all ways have it our way.meetings will help you get stronger . And pray.