My buddy keeps coming off the rails bad. I don't expect him to be sober. I just hope he does for his own sake. Meanwhile the drunk calls and denials about how hard he's hitting it is getting really tiresome. It's getting hard to be his friend and I feel bad about that. It's not his fault that I got sober. Guilt has arrived.
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Chris, it’s tough to watch a friend or another human continue to go down the rabbit hole. I too have experienced this in the recent past. All we can do is be there when they hit bottom. Calling out their mistakes will not help. Telling them what we are doing in sobriety can be helpful if it’s not being shoved down their throats. Most important is showing up for our sobriety and showing those around us the changes we’ve made. It’s our attitude of gratitude that can help the still suffering addict/alcoholic.
Last night I dropped off a package to a person who is in active addiction. It was hard to not say things like “get your shit together” “what the fuck are you doing”. This is why another alcoholic helping another alcoholic is important cause it’s a reminder of just where we were not that long ago. And what it was like when others looked down upon us. I was able to come at this situation with compassion and understanding that there is a good human underneath their addiction.
There’s a chapter in the big book that talks about how to approach an Alcoholic who is still in active addiction. I recommend reading it.
Have a wonderful day filled with love and peace within my sober friend.
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I refuse to watch a friend explode. I have cut a couple of guys off. I will offer help and when it shows they like living in the pit, I walk away. My peace is worth it. Let your buddy know when they are sober that drunk calls will be hung up on. You will not bail them out or pick them up. You don’t want to hear their drunk mess. Be nice but firm. Many of us have to burn every bridge we go to realize how stuck we really are. Don’t let the bridge burn completely, he may have to cross it later
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