My daughter is an alcoholic

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#1

My daughter is an alcoholic.

1 Like
#3

Thanks.

#5

Sorry to hear that

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#6

Can't make her do anything she doesn't want to do

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#7

Truer words have never been spoken.

But you do have control over yourself and your actions. I’ll bet you would feel better if you went to an al anon meeting. God knows I’ve asked my dad to.

#8

Good morning Lisa
I see. Does she know that? Have some compassion for her as she’s sick. We alcoholics are sick. It’s a very delicate situation when looking from the outside in. I recommend Alan-on which is a group similar to AA but for people who have loved ones who are alcoholics. It’s a way to give you information on how to respond and learn about our disease.
Best of luck and happiness to you and your family

#9

Lisa, I’m sorry. That’s rough (and THAT’S an understatement). Are you able to take care of yourself and your own needs?

And totally, you absolutely cannot make her do anything she doesn’t want to do and it could hurt *you to try.

I’m close to my mother (wasn’t always like that). She’s been a bulwark in my recovery, which is still very new (two weeks), and I know how much I have hurt her. She’s able to be clear with me about her needs and what helps her be present for me (which sometimes means she has to step back into self-care). I wish that for you as well. :blue_heart: Do you have other folks in your position to talk to?

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#10

Hi Lisa! Hopefully she will find recovery. Recovery is beautiful and has transformed me (& my life). Have you thought about going to Al Anon?

#11

Thanks Kevin. I appreciate your advice and know that this is an illness, it runs in the family. I am filled with compassion but know this will be a challenge.

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#12

Thanks so much Elizabeth. I'm so happy for you and wish you all the best. My daughter and I have a great relationship but there are things I do that bother her. She is across the country and I just visited her for a week to help her catch up on her business. I didn't realize how bad the drinking had gotten until I got there. She has two alcoholic friends that make for lots of enabling. I love her and am SO worried. I don't know the right things to say. I told her I would do therapy with her and she agreed. She knows she has a problem but it's got a tight grip on her. Any advice from you would be really appreciated since you've walked in her shoes.

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#13

Yes. I signed up online and will definitely go.

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#14

It sounds like you are doing good things for her already, Lisa! Being there with her, expressing a willingness to go to therapy with her: all ofthat is really powerful. She’s lucky to have you. :heart:

I admitted in words to my mother 16 days ago that I am an alcoholic and an addict and have done things that really hurt other people in order to feed my disease. It wasn’t news to her, but she hadn’t realized how bad things had gotten (again). She gave me a hug and thanked me for my courage and honesty.

I know I don’t know you well, but reading your messages, I hear someone who loves her daughter unconditionally. Is it possible you are already doing more than you credit yourself for?

My mom does SMART recovery meetings online for friends and family. She says they’ve helped her a lot, for what it’s worth.

I am 41 years old. I’ve been in and out of mandated treatment programs, hospitals, and active addiction for more than 20 years. I wasn’t able to quit until I was beaten down to desperation. I think that is true of a lot of us. To have some who offers love and support without caveat when I DID get there made all the difference.

Please, please take care of yourself, whatever that entails. You matter too :green_heart:.

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#15

Thanks so much Elizabeth. I hope you know how much your strength helps me, and I'm sure others. Addiction sucks the life out of people and treatment should be much easier to find. I'm so happy for you and send positive energy to help you stay on your path of sobriety.

I never heard of SMART and will look it up. I do love my daughter unconditionally, and would do just about anything to help her become sober. I'm still in a bit of shock as I had no idea how bad it was...yet she's still pretty high functioning. I will do my best to take care of myself...and I hope you do too. :heart: I don't know you but have a feeling that your new life is going to be amazing.

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#17

Thanks so much. I will.

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#18

Is this a open chat line or what?

#20

I’m a daughter of an addict, and am an addict. We do recover. But I found I would never of gotten sober till I was ready and in the depend. It is frustrating so from both sides I will pray she finds whatever it takes to figure out sobriety. God bless u and ur daughter

#21

Hi I’m Barry ima alcoholic!

#22

I want to thank you for inability me to put a couple beer in the freezer while we chat.

#23

I like it,I think it should be called assb

#24

Thanks so much Journeyy. I hear you and realize that I can only hope and pray for her to decide that it's time for a change. :heart: